Comedians often age. Usually, this results in them becoming old.
By Ben Robinson
Seán Cullen first broke through into comedy consciousness with his musical comedy group Corky and the Juice Pigs. I was too young and nerdy to be a part of that scene, but my friends assure me they kicked a lot of ass in their day. According to Wikipedia, Corky and the Juice Pigs were active from 1984 to 1998. That makes Seán Cullen an old man. Old men are not to be respected. They are to be feared. Hear me children: old men are to be feared!
I first learned about Seán Cullen from his appearences on Just for Laughs and his Comedy Network special: Wood, Cheese and Children. Seán mixes improv, music, and traditional absurdist standup into a high energy combination that sadly has not made him famous. Oh, he’s Canadian Famous, but that’s not really famous, is it? Listen children: Old men are to be feared. In his Wood, Cheese and Children show, Seán has a sketch called, “The Food of Your Choice (Will End Your Life).” In this sketch Seán asks audience members to tell him their favourite food. Seán then improvises a song about that food and how he will use that food to kill that audience member. In situations like these, it would be easy to have stock responses to popular favourites, such as pizza, but it is clear from Seán’s stuttering delivery that he is not content to repeat tried and true lines. Instead, each night Seán truly improvises, creates a new variation on old suggestions, and most of the time the result is hilarious.
The first time I tried psychedelic mushrooms my friend took me to see Seán Cullen at the Rivoli. We ingested the shrooms and then walked to the show. The moment I sat in my seat the shrooms began to take effect. As it came closer to the start of the show, the energy of the audience started to build. People talked louder and more excitedly. Being high on shrooms I could feel their energy and feel it build inside me and I became as excited as the whole room combined. I twitched in my seat. The show began.
Seán killed that night. The whole room was in hysterics and no one laughed louder than me. I knew this because Seán got a pained look on his face and kept looking in my direction whenever I howled in delight. My friend told me to contain myself but I couldn’t. I tried and it just made it worse. I gasped for air and my throat hurt. Then two-thirds through the show Seán’s guitarist did a solo rendition of the Coldplay song “Yellow.” Coldplay had just released the single a week ago and I had never heard of them. I was not biased in thinking that Coldplay sucks and “Yellow” sucks, which they do. It calmed me right down and it was incredibly beautiful. Then Seán hit the stage again and smashed the show to a beautiful finish. I don’t remember any of Seán’s jokes, partly because that was six years ago, and partly because I was laughing so hard. I became a lifelong fan. Old men. Fear.
Unfortunately I stopped watching TV around that time, so I was Seánless for quite awhile. I had memories of him burned into me, but I had no fresh teat from which to suckle. I started doing comedy of my own, but Seán was many levels above me and never appeared at my lowly open mic nights. I saw other musical comedians and I looked down on them like most warm hearted Canadians look down on Carrot Top. Actually Carrot Top isn’t that bad. But most musical comedy is. So there. As you may have read in my earlier improv article, I don’t have much respect for your average improv performer either. Seán transcended both of the genres. Musical comedy to me is half music and half comedy. Seán is whole music and whole comedy. Add the improv element and Seán clocks in at 220% entertainment.
Then a few weeks ago I got a Facebook invite to see a free Seán Cullen “Shau” at the Drake. I invited the same friend I went to see Seán with last time. The Facebook invite said it started at 8 but it didn’t start ’til 9:30. My friend and I went to a bar while we waited and my friend got very drunk. Then we got to the “Shau” and my friend ordered two pints for himself so he wouldn’t have to get up during the act. My friend cheered and yelled and shouted encouragement the whole way through. The show itself wasn’t as good as what I remembered from the one I went to six years ago, but then again this time I was stone cold sober and this time it was free. The musical guest was fantastic. My friend bought the musical guest’s CD and I bought Seán’s new CD. We both got them signed. After listening to Seán’s latest work I told my friend his CD might be more entertaining, but my CD will be worth more on eBay in 20 years.
Apparently Seán has written three books. They are a trilogy and they were only selling the third at the show. I have faith that at least the first book is good. His new CD, I Am a Human Man, is really mediocore, but I paid $15 for it and I’m going to listen to it ’til I like it. Seán has a child now, and I think you can tell in the material on his CD. When comedians get children, they often become very unfunny. Then again, maybe the CD is especially funny to people who have children. All I know is I do not respect Seán, I fear him. Old man.
By Denise Liu
