MONDOmagazine

An open letter to Nintendo regarding their mistreatment of hardcore gamers

Dearest Nintendo and Wii,

I was very much looking forward to spending time with you when Fatal Frame IV comes out. I had it all planned: we would spend hours together in the evening and I would quiver with anticipation and horror as together we would fight scary Ju-on style ghosts. We would point the Wiimote at the screen and take pictures of our ghostly conquests and keep them as memories of our epic quest. It was going to be beautiful. I knew the controls would be shaky, as I literally tremble with fear when playing a Fatal Frame game, but I was more than ready to try my favourite series on the Wii.

I was literally crushed, vehemently angry, but sadly, not surprised when you said you would not be releasing Fatal Frame IV in Europe and North America. You made me, a hardcore gamer, feel alienated yet again and I’ve tried so hard to forgive you, but this is unforgivable. You’ve let every other crappy, half-assed game that gets made be published on you, but never ever something for hardcore gamers like me. I am beginning to finally believe that you really do loathe hardcore gamers.

Admittedly, you (the Wii) have not been my favourite console. Yes, I do enjoy playing with you with my non-gamer family and boyfriend, and doing my morning exercises. Other than that, really, I haven’t found a game for the Wii that’s swept me off my feet like Nintendo games did in the good old days. Don’t you remember the long exhilarating moments we spent together during Eternal Darkness, Chrono Trigger, and Resident Evil 4? Why can’t you make or even publish games like that anymore? I’m tired of being part of the Wii fit group. I want to go back to being a Nintendo gamer, when I was proud to say I solely owned and played Nintendo games.  I have not been able to say that for years.

You no longer even try to satisfy me. You are forcing me into the loving embrace of an Xbox 360 and into the bed of  my Blu-Ray-playing PS3. I am afraid I am going to have to break up with you – and after such a long love affair! We had the NES, SNES, and the Gamecube together. (I know – totally missed the N64. It was because I stupidly thought I should grow up and not play games anymore. I never said I was perfect, Nintendo.) Would couples’ counseling work? Are you willing to listen to me? Are you willing to consider my needs as a hardcore gamer? Can you give me that epic game that I desperately want and deserve? Can you give me a game that I’ll lose sleep over and constantly think about while I’m at work?

Or are you leaving me to hang with all the casual gamers? (Casual as in sex, not Fridays.) I understand that it means that you can be with more people, and we’ve always had an open relationship, but I really need you to make me remember why I fell in love with you in the first place. Dearest Nintendo Wii, I am waiting for the perfect E3 make-up game. Prove that you still love me for who I am, a hardcore gamer.

Sincerely,
Diana Poulsen

By Diana Poulsen

2008 was another big year for videogames, and like 2007, we had too many great games to even mention (which is why I am glad I had a bunch of new writers to help me play all of these games! Thank you!).

We played the creative, enduring open-ended platformer LittleBigPlanet; a new expansion for World of Warcraft; terrifying tactic dismemberment in Dead Space; witnessed the return of the iconic Solid Snake in Metal Gear Solid 4; Wii Fit got us off our asses and attempted to convince us that exercise could be fun; we finally got to whip a lightsaber around in the Wii version of Star Wars: The Force Unleashed; once again we have annoying neighbours and digital friends while trying to having the most eccentric house in Animal Crossing City Folk; encountered Resistance 2 and Gears of War 2, and Bioshock for the PS3, and I could go on forever. Honestly, it was a busy gaming year, with something for everyone.

2009 is shaping up to be an equally exciting year, but sometimes, in order to move forward, it is good to look back. Afterall, some of these great games might be on sale!

And to help you sift through the pixels, I’ve decided to look back at my favourite MONDOvideogame articles in chronological order:

The Top 10 Most Anticipated Games of 2008 - Alexander B. Huls

Huls made outstanding predictions for 2008. He only mis-stepped on the pushed-back and at-one-point-rumoured-to-be-cancelled Ghostbusters: The Videogame. Developers, please – I ain’t afraid of no ghosts!

Looking back at Harvest Moon – Alice Moran

Moran gave us an in-depth history of the overlooked Harvest Moon series, which — unbelievably – makes farming addictively fun. Nintendo seems to succeed in turning absurd, bizarre, and occasionally mundane ideas into great gaming. On top of that, probably the only time I’ll ever get to take a wife and the second time I’ll get a have a pet chicken is in playing this game. This time, Spotty the Rooster won’t go the slaughterhouse.

Playstation’s Qore Magazine: Future or Failure? - Miles Baker

Baker’s scathing review of Qore magazine not only made me want check it out (in the same way I’ll see a bad movie to see if it’s actually terrible, or taste a friend’s meal to see if it’s turned), but also forced Sony representatives to come out of the woodwork and respond.

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed Reviewed - James Wisteard

Wisteard reviewed the Wii version of The Force Unleashed and proved that, yes, waving a lightsaber around is a dream come true, but is also very tiring and often ridiculous. Yes, it was something of a disappointment, but still got all of us back in touch with our inner Star Wars nerd.

Things to do when your MMO is down – Diana Poulsen

(Perhaps it is bad form to include myself, but it was a joy to write this article.) I wrote about what to do when your MMO is down and how to get yourself back into RL (real life). Afterall, I’m sure I’m not the only person addicted to MMOs, and while writing it, I actually did have an intervention…

Happy New Year!

Great Gaming to All and to All a Late Night!

By Diana Poulsen

There’s nothing that annoys me more than when I can’t play my MMO. I love World of Warcraft and why should anything get in the way of playing it?  I’m worse than a smoker jonesing for their next cigarette break, and twice as antsy. Doesn’t Blizz know that I have dailies to do, discoveries to make, and minor inscription research to partake in? Tuesdays are the typical server-down days and I can handle that. Tuesdays are my day to get work done without thinking about WoW. However, it’s when the server is down for extended maintenance that I need to find things to do with my newly acquired time. I’m sure all you MMO players know what I am talking about what do you do when you can’t play? First of all, breathe; it’s going to be okay, the real world doesn’t have to be boring. Here are my suggestions on how to fill your time when your MMO is down.

Watch television. Honestly, I really don’t watch much TV anymore. Which often leads me to watch any channel that has 24 hour news coverage. Avoid G4tech TV or any other gaming show, it will remind you of the MMO you are currently not playing.

Do your real life dailies. Shop for groceries, pick up that something from the convenience store, tidy up or clean out the fridge (it really could use it). Think of the change you’ll find while cleaning up as your quest reward. Killing random animals on the street will not result yield accessories or rupies, though. Just a heads up.

Play other videogames. You probably should finish one of those Final Fantasy-type games that you haven’t bothered with in months, or any other game you ditched when your started playing your precious MMO.

Read a book. Chances are, you can find one about the MMO you play. Even read something entirely unrelated to gaming. Some books are even about real life. But really why would you want to read anything that doesn’t a) help you get better at playing, or b) give you a profound and detailed understanding of the mythology of your MMO?

Go out with a friend. If you are lucky, one of your Real Life friends plays the same MMO as you, and together you can reminisce about all the raiding and questing you aren’t currently partaking in. If you are unlucky, and your real life friends don’t play an MMO, then you might have to talk about one of your other hobbies, whatever that may be. If you think your friend would be interested in your MMO, attempt to get them interested in playing by introducing them to the free trial.

Check out special events at your local arena or fairground. I’ve filled server down time with Gem and Mineral shows and library book sales. It takes the edge off and you get to see this outside world people keep telling you about. It’s satisfying to see real copper ore when you’ve virtually mined it.

Visit your local museums or art galleries. Some of these institutions will let you in for free (or a donation) and there’s nothing better than a free event. Also, art galleries do have occasional Thursday and weekend opening receptions with free food. In every respect, you win: you get to see something interesting and possibly get a free snack. Besides, you might see some cool armour or weapons similar to the ones your character uses. Overall, you’ll feel enriched.

If you have a significant other, spend time with them. Chances are you’ve neglected them and they need some form of intimacy, sexual or otherwise. This time spent with them will make them happier and complain less about the time you spent with your MMO. Tell them to bank up on these hours now, because they will be lean in the coming weeks and years. Hopefully, they’ll stop referring to themselves as an MMO widow(er) at gatherings for a short period of time.

Play another MMO. Both MMOs couldn’t be down at the same time, so this way you’ll have an option to fill your time. However, this may result in never seeing the outside world, or loss of real life friends. Also avoid getting your MMOs mixed up. You don’t want to be talking about how awesome it is being a barbarian when you’re actually a dark elf — talk about embarrassing.

Go Outside. Many of these other suggestions involved going outside, but can you  remember the last time looked the real world sky? It has no bit-mapping issues and the frame rate on the sky is always steady. It’s time for that much needed walk or visit to the park. You’ll be working towards your achievement of “real world explorer” and moving away from “real life shut in.”

Troll your guild forum. Chances are, your other members are just as bored as you are, and now you have someone to send messages to and create weird forum topics with. You’d be surprised at how many pictures of dogs in costumes exist, and it will fill your time in a humorous manner.

Get on vent. You’d be surprised at how many of your fellow guildees retreat to Ventrilo (an internet phone programme) when the server is down. You can all complain about the server together and talk about all those weird posts your started in the forums.

Eventually, the crisis will end and you will get back on your MMO without having any sort of breakdown, causing your friends or significant other to stage an intervention. If a breakdown resulting in an intervention occurs, maybe you really were spending too much time with your MMO. In that case, take this list of things to do and use it to re-engage with the real world.

By Diana Poulsen

E3 2008 was exciting for all gamers this year, and once again it was closed to the public and focused on press conferences rather than spectacle. However, I was a little disappointed with E3 this year; it seemed as though many of the games covered were ones I already knew were coming out (e.g Little Big Planet, Final Fantasy XIII, Far Cry II, Rock Band 2, Too Human, Mirror’s Edge, Mercenaries 2, Ghostbusters, Lego Batman, etc.). That was the one problems of having E3 in July instead of May, there were not too many surprises since many of these game will be out in September or December.

The biggest surprise for me was the announcement of Beyond Good and Evil 2. The original was released in 2003 to exceptional reviews, but very few people actually bought it, which was a shame because it was awesome. I am glad to hear that Ubisoft are continuing the game, as it was planned to be a trilogy. I highly recommend playing the original and it’s usually in the bargain bin for $9.99. I was very disappointed to not hear anything about any of the new Kingdom Hearts titles, since one of them should be coming out in late 2008 or early 2009. Despite my complaints, there are many games for all of us to look forward to.

I’ve decided to cover a few of the games and peripherals that were discussed at the Expo; don’t worry, there’s something for everyone. One good thing this year was the focus on demos rather than on trailers. This meant that we got to see actual game play rather than cinematics.

Nintendo announced that they would have two new peripherals coming out, Wiispeak and Wii MotionPlus. WiiSpeak is a small microphone to sit on top of your TV so everyone in the room can converse with other players in their home. Wii MotionPlus is an addition to the Wiimote to make it more motion-sensitive. What got me the most excited about Nintendo’s press conference was the announcement of Animal Crossing: City Folk for the Wii. It’s a return to Animal Crossing on a console and it excited me because holidays like Hallowe’en are making a comeback. I was disheartened when Animal Crossing: Wild World for the Nintendo DS sterilized all the holidays from the game. This time around, you can visit the city and even fashionista Gracie’s store.

Rock Band 2 was further elaborated on, including the release of new instruments like drums that have more bounce but less noise, and guitars that hide the coloured buttons — so they look more like guitars than toys. Your old instruments will still work, as will all of your downloaded songs.

Resident Evil 5 had its own presentation and yes, it still looks very good, but they of course avoided talking about its surrounding controversy. For those who don’t know, RE5 is set in Africa and involves two white protagonists killing primarily black zombies. Arguments for both sides have been made, but I will not make a judgment call until I’ve played it. Often controversy strikes out of ignorance, and maybe (I hope) RE5 has resolved its controversy. We really won’t know until we’ve played it, but I do think its fair for people to protest when they believe an injustice is occurring, and I am disappointed with Capcom for not taking the time to address this issue.

LucasArts announced that the next Knights of the Old Republic game would be an MMO. This makes a lot of sense since there seemed to be a lot of fans of KOTOR, and not as many of Lucasarts’ current MMO, Star Wars Galaxies.

As Miles mentioned earlier this week, Final Fantasy XIII would not be a PS3 exclusive but for both the Xbox 360 and PS3. That is a shot to Sony, as I am sure they would have sold a few consoles with that title.

Sony announced the downloadable Flower for their PSN. I’ve seen video and read descriptions, but I am still not entirely sure what you do. It’s apparently very relaxing and similar to Flow. This is one I think I will have to play in order to understand, but I like the idea of a videogame that relaxes me. It looks and sounds relaxing.

EA is working on their first Horror game, Dead Space. It looks like a combination of Sunshine (or Event Horizon) and disgusting, deformed, mutant flesh bags. The game practices strategic dismemberment, meaning that a shot to the head isn’t going to kill these creatures — you will having remove each limb to destroy them. The premise of the game follows a crew member trying to survive after all of the other crew have been turned into horrible, deformed monsters.

Although Bungie’s statement was at the last minute dropped from the Microsoft press conference, it was confirmed later in the week that they are working on a Halo title, despite their current difficulties with Microsoft.

Ubisoft will be releasing a voice recognition real-time strategy war game called Tom Clancy’s EndWar for Xbox 360, PS3 and PC. It apparently has a 95% chance of understanding what you say, but voice recognition always makes me worry.

That’s just a few of the titles that were talked about at E3, and I hope all of us have something to look forward to in the coming months.

Add fire.

By Diana Poulsen

I’ve enjoyed my Nintendo Wii as much as the next person, but I have gotten sick of the overwhelming influx of crappy games that come out for it on a regular basis. It’s a chore to go through the Nintendo section (the DS also has this problem) because of the sheer amount of crap on the shelf. The bad cover design of the third party games is enough to make me puke. Sorry Nintendo, if I honestly don’t give a shit about Ninjabread, the ten million versions of Brian Age, Wario Ware Smooth Moves, or the poor man’s version of Trauma Centre. I’m no longer amazed or amused by the fact that my physical movements show up on my television screen.

I find it ironic that Nintendo — who had the stiffest regulations in the 1980s and 1990s about what was published on their consoles — has allowed such a massive amount of crap on their latest ventures. Nintendo is beginning to look like Atari, the company that Nintendo used as a counter-business model because it was deemed that Atari’s failure was in part due to the fact that Atari published a massive amount of low quality games. Nintendo, please stop being Atari and go back to having an iron fist on what gets published on your system. I understand that the Wii is a license to print money, but eventually you’ll piss off more than just the critics.

Moving on to the fire part of all of this. A friend of mine told me that the Wii sensor bar works by creating infrared light, the same kind of light that candles produce. So, taking his suggestion, I tried using candles instead of my Wii sensor bar. Yes, I did unplug the bar and moved it out the way and set up 2 small pillar candles where the ends of my Wii sensor bar would be. It was a little wonky, but it worked. You can play Wii with candles. I would probably use about 4 candles in row and make sure they are stable and not near anything flammable. Mom, Dad or your landlord do not want their home burnt down and besides, think about all the stuff you’d lose in the fire — like the very Wii you were modding! Please be responsible with your fire.

If you like burning stuff, wait until June for Alone in the Dark V; apparently they spent a year just getting the fire right in the game, so you can embrace your inner pyro in virtual form. Playing Wii with candles certainly increased my interest in the console for a bit longer, but the cool magic trick is only a bandage solution for my boredom. Dearest Nintendo, I desperately hope Wii Fit will make me fall in love with you again, or at least make me interested. If not, I will have to think of more creative ways to play with my Wii.

By Diana Poulsen

It’s finally the beginning of the summer blockbuster gaming season and thank Rockstar, because I was getting bored. Summer sprinted out of the gate with the release of Grand Theft Auto IV and as per usual some controversy has already started. M.A.D.D (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) would like to see GTA’s rating boosted from rated M (Mature age 17) to A/O (Adults Only 18+) because the player can drive intoxicated. I find the difference between rated M and A/O fairly meaningless because the ages of 17 and 18 are not terribly different. When I was 17 I was aware that games were fantasies, had seen sex in movies ,and knew that drunk driving was stupid and dangerous. Honestly, if you’ve made it to 17 without learning that drunk driving is dangerous and potentially fatal for you, your friends and innocent bystanders, you should get your head checked. You’re either chronically stupid or a sociopath. On top of that, M.A.D.D has had the most enormous ad campaign against drunk driving for as long as I can remember, so how could anyone tv-literate enough to see GTA’s ad not be informed? Though, as the proverb goes, you can take a horse to water, but it doesn’t mean it will drink.

No pun intended.

Of course, technically, the rating is decided by the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) and not software company and therefore all protests about rating should be directed at the ESRB.

Luckily for Rockstar controversy is free publicity and Rockstar is the master of free publicity. This new controversy is only quiet rumblings in comparison to what Rockstar has created in the past. When someone finds Hot Coffee 2.0, that’s when the real controversy can start. Personally, I say hurrah for consensual sex simulators – finally us socially awkward folks can get laid in glorious HD.

There probably isn’t a Hot Coffee 2.0, but at least I can start the rumour mill.

So far, GTA IV is the game that Sony needed, because PS3 sales finally increased in time for the release. The PS3 will be boosted again for the release of the highly anticipated Metal Gear Solid IV. It will be available to purchase bundled with a PS3 or on its own.

However, the PS3 is still experiencing trouble with several glitches already reported in GTA IV. Be prepared for stalling frame rates and having to turn off your online connection. All the experienced PS3 and PC users have become accustomed to downloading patches, so it’s nothing new for them. Gamers will just have to cross their fingers that the patch comes out shortly. The Xbox 360 version of GTA IV has had no problems so far, and has overtaken Halo 3 and Call of Duty for the top spot on Xbox live, and gamers have already unlocked over 2 million achievements.

It looks like it could shape up to be a satisfyingly indoor summer for gamers. Maybe, it will be a gaming summer thrilling enough to make me stop playing World of Warcraft.

Now here’s a thought, what about GTA on the Wii?

Monster Hunter Freedom 2

Capcom 2007
PSP

By Diana Poulsen

One of my friends asked me to review Monster Hunter Freedom 2 because Monster Hunter games typically receive bad reviews from critics. Of course I will still be objective, but I couldn’t help but wonder why these games get such bad reviews.

You play as a monster hunter who has woken up in a village after being attacked by giant dragon-like creature that almost devoured you like stuffin’ at a turkey dinner. The whole premise of the game is to kill monsters: this is not an RPG but a fighting game. Instead of gaining levels, you will learn how to create better weapons, armour, and items to help you fight. There’s no room for power levelling to make yourself more powerful than the monster; you actually have to learn how to play strategically to annihilate your target. Observation is key, you will need to watch the beast to figure out when it is going to attack and when it is open for attack. It can be a bit of work, but once you kill the monster you are after it feels really good. Defeating the boss monsters can feel as good as taking down one of the Colossi in Shadow of the Colossus, and that’s a gaming high that is hard to come by.

When I began to play, I didn’t understand what was so bad about the game. In fact, I was really impressed by the incredible control that MH gives the player. There is a complex character creation interface so you can really make your character to suite your taste. There are a variety of faces, hair styles, and hair colour. There are at least 30 different voice selections for both the male and female characters, but they sound very similar because they are really just grunts and groans. You can create armour, weapons, and items by mixing materials. You can use bombs and traps and all of them are created by mixing items you have gathered. All of the items created will help you become a better fighter. From the beginning you have all nine possible weapons and each has its specific uses. You will need to learn all of the weapons because some jobs require the quick, low-damage duel swords, other jobs require the slow, high-damage great sword, and another will require a bow. Each weapon has its own special attack and each will require some learning to use. I recommend the sword and shield when you start because it is the easiest and from there I suggest learning the great sword.

Of course this game takes some figuring out and a fair bit of reading to get going. Luckily there are good tutorials and the book that comes with the game describes just about everything. Yes, it can be a pain in the ass and that’s the part that reviewers don’t like; yes, it has a learning curve, and yes, it requires some effort to get into.

THe good news is that you can play with a friend. Teaming up with a friend makes questing a lot easier. There is WLAN play and there is apparently a hack for full online play. You also earn special treasures by teaming up with other people.

Despite all the reading and the sort of high learning curve, I really enjoyed MHF2. Once I learned how to fight, the game transformed from a button masher into one where I had to actually think about how I was going to hunt my monsters.

Published by Namco
Developed by Alfa System

By Diana Poulsen

I have been a big fan of the Tales series since I played Tales of Symphonia. Since then I have been playing any Tales game I can get my hands on and have been generally pleased. So when Tales of the World was released, I was excited to hear about a game that included so many of the characters from previous Tales games, and a little worried. Could it be as cool as Kingdom Hearts? Or would it simply be a grinding quest-based game? If you said grinding quest-based game, congratulations! You win the metaphorical cupie doll.

Now, I didn’t hate this game. It’s just that as much as I like running around and doing quests (and I really do – I play World of Warcraft), I really can’t get behind gaming like that in a Tales title. It’s nice to fight alongside old friends, and it’s good distraction, but the story is not particularly interesting. There are some amusing skits but they just don’t make up for the boring and predictable storyline. The quest-based system only bores me because I expect good humour and excellent story telling from a Tales game. So essentially the game has been stripped of the story, and has only left the fighting system – which is honestly the bright side.

The awesome fighting system of the Tales series has been put into the foreground. In Tales of the World you can run around in the 3D space while fighting (introduced in Tales of the Abyss) instead of planning your fights two-dimensionally. There are the usual fighting-game style button combinations and you can program your character to fight the way you want by attaching your favourite techniques to your favourite buttons. Also, the A.I. for the other member of your party is pretty smart, and you can further customize it to your style of fighting. This means that the player has a lot of control over the way they play the game.

When you start the game you create your own character from scratch. The options are fairly limited but I was able to create something I liked and select a voice that didn’t drive me bonkers. When creating the new character you are given the option of thief, warrior, mage and priest as the initial jobs. After a brief stint of gaming, you can change jobs if you’ve gotten bored, and there are a few more unlockable jobs.

A big part of the game is completing quests, as the more you do the better your reputation, and the better the characters you will be able to recruit to help you. As I said, it’s nice to fight alongside some of your favourite Tales characters, but sadly several of them are not voiced by their original voice actor. I was so happy that Kratos Aurion (Tales of Symphonia) was still voiced by Cam Clark.

Despite Tales of the World: Radiant Mythology’s vacant personality and narrative mediocrity, the fighting is satisfying and may get you through the whole thing. If you don’t mind long, grinding quests and the gaping absence of a good story and just like to fight, then this might be the title for you.

What’s the Nintendo-girl been playing this year?

By Diana Poulsen

This was a challenging list to compile when I only have the Wii and the Nintendo DS as next generation consoles. Just keep that in mind. Here’s my best of 2007. 7. Bioshock (PC, Xbox360)
First off, I have to admit I haven’t played this one, but I desperately want too. First person shooter meets horror, meets Art Deco? The atmosphere that is Bioshock looks and feels awesome. I would love to live in that crazy underwater city — well, as long as there weren’t any monsters or crazies down there. As it avoids than the problems of copyright protection on the PC, the Xbox360 version makes me drool with anticipation. I desperately want to play this, and I am not a fan of first person shooters. Every time someone talks about playing it and tells me how great it is I contemplate stealing their Xbox360. You’d better watch out, Mr. Alexander B. Huls.

6. Super Mario Galaxy (Wii)
Challenging and unique, Nintendo has raised the bar on all platformers while bringing Mario into the third dimension. The 3D world reminds me a lot of some of the worlds in Psychonauts when you are platforming on that black and white cube. You can run around on all sides of the cube and it flips to match your direction. It’s a little disorientating but wicked cool, though I felt the same way about Mario 64. I got lost an awful lot. You won’t be quite as astounded or feel nearly as lost as when you played Mario 64 for the first time, but the feeling is certainly familiar. And I mean that in the best possible way. The controls are very intuitive and the game has been developed to do more than simply function on the Wii controls. Hopefully this means I won’t get Wii arm from this game.

5. WarioWare: Smooth Moves (Wii)
This game is whacked, messed up, crazy, and on acid. I played this game at a party and you really do have to play it to understand it. It’s series of wacky minigames and a collage of off the wall characters. The animations and stories that accompany the mini games are brilliant and down right crazy. Apparently giving a cat an umbrella makes it and its pals go disco dancing with you. Picking someone’s nose, opening an umbrella, shaving someone’s face and other random things are all minigames. On top of that every time you learn a new position for holding the Wiimote the narrator introduces it with a very sincere but messed up haiku. Overall, a lot of laughs and a good party game.

4. Hotel Dusk: Room 215 (Nintendo DS)
Hotel Dusk is an adventure game that plays out like a crime novel. You even hold the DS like it’s a book. The game mechanics are similar to Trace Memory which was also developed by CING. The graphics have a hand drawn appearance similar to A-HA’s Take on Me music video and Trace Memory. The game is a little slow, but what adventure game isn’t slow? I’ve picked this one because it proved to me that I would like to see more adventure games on the DS.

3. Resident Evil 4 Wii edition (Wii)
Come on, it’s Resident Evil 4 and you actually stab things. On top of that it includes everything that was added in the PS2 version. Yes, it’s an older game, but have we all really gotten over how awesome RE4 was? No, I didn’t think so. This time you really have to be on your toes – I’d recommend putting the sensor bar on the floor as it works better that way. RE4 is even scarier on the Wii, if that is possible.

2. Legend of Zelda the Phantom Hourglass (Nintendo DS)
This return to the cell-shaded world of Wind Waker starts up where Wind Waker leaves off. I love the little voice clips they use, it just sets the mood for everything to follow. The stylus works really well in this one, though on occasion the fighting feels a little too easy. I can point quicker than I can button mash so it works almost too well for me, though I do worry about jabbing my stylus through the screen. Here, though, you can’t use any of the buttons, so it’s stylus or nothing. It might sound frustrating, but take it from me — drawing a line for the boomerang to follow is the greatest. So much control over what to hit! I also adore the steam boat, thought I do miss sailing. But this time around, they allow you to customize you ship’s looks and functionality. You all know the basic story here — yes, you do have to rescue Tetra (aka Zelda).

1. World of Warcraft the Burning Crusade (PC)
I am addicted to WoW and honestly it’s become a problem in my life. This expansion added the elegant, green-eyed Blood Elves, the blue alien Draenei, a level 70 cap, the profession of jewelcrafting, and the Outland and Epic mounts. The Blood Elves’ good looks seem to be a fan favourite because you see them everywhere. On top of all that, this year we’ve seen a collection of solid patches, including the Gods of Zul’Aman, Brewfest and the Headless Horseman expansion for Hallow’s End. Overall, WoW is hours or even months of fun. It’s kept me busy since October and I am having a Cartman-like freak out for The Wraith of the Lich King. Don’t be alarmed when you start to dream about which race you should try next, and what profession your character should pursue. Eventually, you will end up hanging out with your friends and playing games of makeshift leap frog rather than going on quests. It doesn’t sound like fun, but it really is. That said, why am I telling you this? I am missing out on crucial WoW time.

In the holiday spirit, a list of games I’ve always wanted but never received.

By Diana Poulsen

10. The Phantom (Console, 2006)
It was a console that was designed to play PC games, which I thought was perfect for me since I didn’t want to update my computer, but I wanted to play some awesome PC games. However, the system was very pointless. You could only play PC games that were about 3-4 years old and it quickly became obsolete. Seriously, though, the back catalogue would have been awesome.

9. The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons and Oracle of Ages (Gameboy Colour, 2001)
It’s two Link games in one, how could I not want it? I honesty had no money at this time. Such a burden it is being a teenager/child. I waited much too long and now can’t find this game anywhere to save my life.

8. Rez (PS2, DreamCast, 2001)
Rez is a weird musical shooting game that is loosely constructed on the game play dynamics of Panzer’s Dragoon for the Sega Saturn. Apparently, only about 100,000 were released in North America, and it’s that weird arty game everyone collects. It looks cool. It’s the game where you can buy the trance vibrator.. . But come on — the PS2 controller does that already, isn’t that overkill?

7. Winx Club (PS2, never released)
Alright, I admit it. I enjoy and regularly watch the Winx Club and have played all the games that have come out for it. Yes, the games are crap, they are very simple and clearly designed as an attempt to hypnotize the female mind, but it’s my guilty pleasure. By the way, that attempt to hypnotize the female mind by using pink and purple is a failure. Those colours clash. Now, various outfits, that is a little warmer, but still not true for all girls. We also like to shoot stuff and find stuff too – like in RPGs and survival horror games. That said, I love these games. I had heard about a PS2 version of the Winx Club game and saw some cool screenshots, but I have yet to see it in stores and it was supposed to be a 2005 release. Le sigh… where is it?

6. Makai Kingdom (PS2, 2005)
I rented this game to review and I adored it. Then I went out to buy it, and could not find it. I don’t even like RTS but this one was highly amusing with its SNES graphics and over the top humour.

5. Final Fantasy X-2 International (Japanese PS2, 2004)
A lot of the Final Fantasy games that are released come out in Japan a second time as an International version. It has spoken English dialogue but with new levels and occasionally fixes initially problematic elements of the game. I adored FFX-2 and wanted to play this version so I could get the 2 new outfits and interact with Auron and Tidus. Evil SquareEnix and your Japan only releases! How you tease me soo!

4. Leisure Vision (Console, 1982)
Exceptionally rare and only released in Canada, Leisure Vision is pretty much a knock off of ColecoVision. I want it, because my boyfriend use to play it as a child and it’s the only game console he’s really liked. So If I get it, he’ll play with me. Then I can finally convince him that video games do equal fun.

3. Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix + (Japanese PS2, 2007)
I loved KH2, I finished in 5 days – 40 hours. I loved KH Chain of Memories for the GBA. Of course only in Japan would they release KHII Final Mix. Yes, more levels and what not, but it also comes with a PS2 version of Chain of Memories. Why are you so cruel to me SquareEnix? Why?!

2. Keio Flying Squadron II (Sega Saturn, 1996)
I was playing my cousin’s Sega Saturn in Denmark, and they had a playable demo of Keio. I loved it. It was an anime style platformer. So I waited for it to come out in Canada, and even conned my mom into getting us a Sega Saturn for x-mas. Little did I know that at this time Sega was well into its downfall and the Dreamcast would be soon be released. Sadly, Keio was never released in Canada, it was only released in Europe, Australia and Japan. I was so sad. Magic Knight Rayearth and Keio Flying Squadron II were the reason I owned a Saturn. Despite the massive disappointment, I loved that machine until the bitter end.

1. Atari Cosmos (Handheld/Tabletop, 1981)
I’ve only read about it and seen one on eBay for about $10,000. This was Al Alcorn’s (Atari’s lead engineer and programmer) attempt to create a handheld machine that used light (LEDs) and holographs. The result is weird rainbow coloured 3D games. Honestly, it just sounds cool and the few pictures I have seen look fascinating. It received a lot of criticism before it was released, and even though there were a lot of interested buyers, Atari pulled the plug on the project. There were only 5 made and only 2 of them work today.

Yes, I’m that hardcore a gamer.

The Longest Journey
FunCom, 2000

By Diana Poulsen

I felt that itch, one I hadn’t felt in years. It just wouldn’t go away and it could only be filled by one thing… After about eight years I finally decided to return to PC gaming, in particular adventure gaming. I am not sure why I felt this need — but I was drawn to The Longest Journey. Despite the fact that it had won numerous awards I had never heard of it until I saw the box at the store and thought, “Okay, I’ll give that a go.” Read the rest of this entry »

By Diana Poulsen

This week I am celebrating my triumphant return to PC gaming. After about an eight year absence I have decided to return to my computer and catch up with some old PC friends. I can’t remember why I left the PC gaming scene. The last two games I played were Septerra Core and American McGee’s Alice, both bloody awesome games. I am still not sure why I decided to return now when I only have a 1.6 gzh Pentium 4 laptop with little to no graphics card. But on the bright side, I can play all sorts of old games and World of Warcraft.

I remember the good old days of little to no software security and no serial numbers. Where you had to uninstall and reinstall a game multiple times just to get it to function right. I had to install more RAM to get Alice to work, but once you got through the painful setup it was always a delightful experience. There was a certain level of satisfaction in getting the setup right. Of course, it’s not like that anymore.

I bought Black Mirror and spent almost two hours installing, and not the fun kind of installing. It involved typing in the five different serial numbers they gave me. And of course, it had to be the last one that worked. Just the processing of the different serial numbers took forever. Why did I need five? Couldn’t they just have given me one that worked? This was my frustrating introduction to StarForce, a copy-protection software that demands to check your game every single flippin’ time you play it, to determine if you have purchased it. It was very annoying to wait a minute or two to play the damn game just to wait for it to tell me that, yes, I had bought it. I couldn’t even get it to run on my DVD drive and I had to run it on my sub-par CD drive. It got to the point where I debated downloading an illegal copy so I could just play the stupid game I had paid for. It’s just like that time I bought Hawksley Workman’s Lover/Fighter CD and with all the copy protection it wouldn’t even play on my CD player or my Walkman. The CD worked perfectly on my PS2 — but that is not for playing music! I didn’t buy the (at the time) $400 machine to play bloody music. I had to try to download the songs after I bought the CD and I couldn’t even find the songs so I had to buy them off of Puretracks (the old Canadian version of iTunes). And after three years the Puretracks songs wouldn’t even play on my computer because they were copy protected! And StarForce is just as bad. On top of this, the strict copy protection on Black Mirror was there to protect the measley $9.99 I paid for the game.

Which brings me to BioShock. The PC version uses SecuROM, a copy-protection software requiring an internet connection to complete installation. The first issue might not be obvious here online, but not everyone has the internet. I used to live in a rural area where they only had dial-up, so I could understand if my neighbours chose not to have the internet. Beyond this initial leap of faith, BioShock has had numerous problems with its copy-protection software, to the point where some people have told me not to even bother with the PC version (not that I could run it anyway). It seems to be a bit weird to buy a game and only be able to install it five (originally it was two) times. If you needed it reinstalled six times you would have had to call SecuROM to re-activate your game. It also didn’t help that in certain manuals the phone number was misprinted. It’s such a shame to have to criticize a beautiful Art Deco First Person Shooter for their copy protection and bad planning.

When the copy protection interferes with the quality of the software or product then the company needs think of a better option. All of these copy-protection-related difficulties are driving me, someone who obtains all her digital media perfectly legally, to pirating. This is not what you want, software and music companies! I understand the need for copy protection. You simply might want to investigate how user-friendly it is – you know, so it doesn’t piss me off and drive me away from your product.

On the bright side, The Longest Journey (which I have a review for) did not require a serial number or have crazy copy protection. It worked perfectly on my computer and required only one attempt to successfully install it. Even for World of Warcraft, I just needed my single, working serial number and I was all set to go. See software companies? You can copy protect something, just make it so it works and doesn’t annoy the shit out of your customers.