By Caesar Martini and Brian Last
Remember I told you that we’d be seeing a smaller crew for now? Well here we have it — prolific newcomer Brian Last and the irascible Caesar Martini have returned to weigh in with their takes on June’s big releases. The guys have more optimism for Pelham but uncertainty and conflict remain the only staples in pre-assessing Year One. Read on, enjoy, and throw your voices into the mix!
But how will THEY get HERE?
I love the premise of this movie — three buddies (Zach Galifianakis, Ed Helms, and Bradley Cooper) wake up from a bachelor party bender in Vegas with no memory of the previous night, and no groom. The trio try to piece together what happened and find their missing man in time for his wedding. I think everyone can relate to this plot — after all, who amongst us hasn’t woken up with Mike Tyson in their living room singing “In The Air Tonight” by Phil Collins? That guy’s a menace. Collins, I mean, not Tyson.
Todd Phillips, who has brought us such classics as Old School, Starsky and Hutch, and Road Trip, is back with another comedy. His last film, School for Scoundrels, did not do so well, perhaps because he moved away from his Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn, and Ben Stiller bubble, something Judd Apatow may want to think about when people start to get tired of Seth Rogen. Phillips has a new crew of funny, talented guys to work with and I think the audience will enjoy them. The trailer had me laughing and I doubt very much the funniest bits were in the trailer. I believe that there is a whole lot more hilarity in store for this film.
The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3
The thrilling 123rd installment in the epic Taking of Pelham series.
John Travolta, in badass mode, takes a subway train hostage and starts using subway traffic conductor Denzel Washington as a relay station for his demands.
There are a lot of Travolta-haters out there, and to be honest I can’t blame them. He’s Scientology’s #2 celebrity and is in as many terrible movies as he is good ones. Plus he can fly his own private jet, so there’s always the worry of a Travolta-From-Above sneak attack. But Denzel hasn’t done anything wrong in what seems like forever, and when he teams up with director Tony Scott usually something pretty good happens. And I do like me a good heist movie.
Denzel plays Walter Garber, an ordinary dispatcher for the New York city transit system. When Ryder (Travolta) hijacks a train, things escalate into an intense face off as Garber has to be extraordinary and rise to the call to end this ordeal.
Director Tony Scott is back with another crime caper that will take the audience on an adventure that will thrill and entertain them. He’s armed with an all-star cast that also includes Luis Guzman, Jon Turturro, and James Gandolfini — perfect choices to work within Scott’s always sharp, mile-a-minute style of directing. It will be interesting to see how he tackles remaking a highly praised film. I predict a solid film that is smart and intriguing with Tony Scott‘s signature all over it.
Like VeggieTales for the teen/20's set.
This movie stars Michael Cera and Jack Black (playing pretty much the only characters either of them ever play) having wacky adventures in the distant past. I can’t remember exactly which year. Anyway, this is going to be one of those silly movies that guest stars a whack of people I love to see in silly movies (Paul Rudd, David Cross, and Hank Azaria for starters). I think I will laugh heartily and not be in any danger of learning even the smallest little thing. Hooray!
Plus it’s directed by Egon from Ghostbusters.
After two slacker gatherers are kicked out of their village they go on an adventure through the ancient world where they encounter many crazy things. I am not anticipating much from this movie. Even though it has the comedic master Harold Ramis at the helm, you will get the same old jokes that have been done in the past. The only difference is that it is set in the past, so the jokes will be all about that time period, nothing groundbreaking — we’ve all seen The Flintstones, right? Jack Black’s over-the-top goofiness with some elongated words to build to some potential singing, and Cera’s awkward naivety will make for some passable reused entertainment. Even with all of the cameos in this film, it will not be saved.
40% more KA-PLOW!
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
HOLY CRAP. Have you guys seen this preview?? Look at it. Look at it. Michael Bay catches a lot of flack for his directing, and sure, a lot of it is well deserved, but anyone who didn’t enjoy the first Transformers just has a black, black heart, or maybe they just didn’t understand that the movie was about giant awesome transforming robots doing awesome things. I mean, I had complaints about the first movie, but I couldn’t voice them over the gleeful giggling I was suffering from after watching said awesome robots do said awesome things. It’s just a fun, fun movie.
In this sequel, it looks like Devastator comes to Earth (the Voltron-esque construction-vehicle super-Transformer that breaks up into six regular sized Transformers), resurrects Megatron, and a lot more robot fights happen… which is basically all I’m asking for. Tee hee! To borrow from Borat, VERY EXCITE!