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Why I Don’t Like Juno

Posted by film On February - 5 - 2008

Reason #1 - She’s Annoying
By Alexander B. Huls

A couple of times each year there’s inevitably some quirky off-beat film that becomes a phenomenon, an “it” film, if you will. The one people brandish at parties like a merit badge designating their supposed hipness. Last year it was Little Miss Sunshine. Earlier last year it seemed to be Children of Men, and late last year and into this year the “it” film is undoubtedly Juno.

Everybody loves Juno. The critics love it. At the time of this writing Rotten Tomatoes has it at 93%. The people love it. On IMDB, 37,889 users have helped it achieve a 8.3 out of 10 rating, making it #120 in the Top 250 movies of all time on IMDB, and it’s recently surpassed the $100 million dollar mark at the box office. The Academy loves it. They recently nominated it for four major categories: best original screenplay (Diablo Cody), best director (Jason Reitman), best actress (Ellen Page) and best picture. Everyone I know loves it. One friend is even going so far as to writing an essay on it, and another put it on his Best of 2007 list.

The thing is, I didn’t love it. I barely even liked it.

Now even people who love the film seem to at least concede that Juno has problems, most notably in its first twenty minutes (the drugstore scene in particular). A natural assessment, given that that segment of the film is hampered by an excess of exhibitionism, most notably its over-written dialogue that smacks of desperation to be perceived as “hip” and “quirky.” While for most people those twenty minutes proved to be something to tolerate in order to get to the rest of the film which they loved, for me the film remained consistently problematic, if not even more so, largely in its central character and its craft (vague, I know, but more on that later).

Though the dialogue admittedly improves (mellows down) for three-fourths of the film, the character of Juno doesn’t. She remains an obnoxious smart-ass, wielding her sense of self and supposed individuality with all the subtlety of a chainsaw (and yes, I’m aware of the irony of writing that so obnoxiously), leaving the other characters to be nothing more than foils, accentuating how “cool” and “hip” we’re supposed to find Juno. Or at least how I’m supposed to find Juno, because it seems that most people somehow find Juno endearing.

Don’t get me wrong, I get — for the most part — why everyone likes Juno. She is easily seen as a witty, self-empowered, determined, intelligent and pop-culture savvy young woman, who is not without her moments of charm and vulnerability. (Though I do find myself wondering how a supposed intelligent young woman who resolutely decides to have sex doesn’t think to go on the pill or at least have a condom handy). I’m even willing to concede that Juno’s annoying behavior can easily be attributed to the fact that the film does attempt to deal with the notion of adolescent self-discovery. Juno’s behavior smacks of just that: a teenager believing she’s found out who she is, and overemphasizing it to hide an inner insecurity and uncertainty.

That doesn’t change the fact that, in the end, I find her annoying. I’ll never begrudge someone self-confidence sprung from being or trying to be certain of one’s self, but I will begrudge them asserting that self if it’s annoying and obnoxious. People will argue me on this point (and already have) but when I watch scenes like the one where Juno first meets Jennifer Garner and Jason Bateman’s characters, it’s hard for me to find anything to like in a someone who can’t go a minute without making a sarcastic comment, who veers on rudeness (and is seemingly unaware of that fact, to make matters worse), and avoids the seriousness of the situation with the ironic detachment that is perhaps representative of our and her generation, but is taken to such an extreme that she comes off as nothing more than a self-centered, spoiled child, who appears to be actively trying to be cool by seeming not to be (which as most of us know, is not cool at all).

Let me put it this way. Transpose Juno into the “real world,” and ask yourself honestly if after the initial novelty of being her friend wore off, you wouldn’t start getting tired of her constant smart-ass remarks, her feigned ironic apathy, and borderline condescension about her taste in popular culture.

Reason #2 - The Payoff Couldn’t PayJuno is also for me a representation of a bigger problem I had with the film: forced or manufactured quirkiness. Like most of my points here, I can easily concede that this might be over-sensitivity on my part, but everything about the film’s tone feels forced. The “quirk,” if you will, feels pre-meditated, as opposed to being something that emerges naturally from the characters and the plot. The overdone dialogue, the excess of Juno’s individuality, and even the insanely solipsistic soundtrack that seems to be pleading with you to make it this year’s Garden State soundtrack (seeing as it sits as the #1 bestseller in Amazon.com’s music section, it seems it is), feels precisely contrived to allow it to become the quirky “it” film it has, in fact, become.

When you not only have a character clearly and visibly using something as painfully obvious and “quirky” as a hamburger phone, but have an actual scene where said character unnecessarily informs someone that they are, in fact, using a hamburger phone, it seems like the film is desperate to make sure you appreciate a pre-meditated quirkiness it’s distinctly aware of.

Before you think me entirely heartless, I can’t say I disliked the entire film. Everyone gave stellar performances, most notably Jennifer Garner, J.K. Simmons, and Ellen Page (even if she had to work with a poor character). Diablo Cody is obviously a screenwriter to look out for, even if I had issues with this film. And her new column with Entertainment Weekly proves her to be the charming, funny type of person Juno isn’t, so I look forward to her future projects.

I even enjoyed the final twenty minutes, most likely because it seemed like the film forgot to try and be cool and instead focused on realizing the emotional payoffs it had been building towards, and treating them with the poignancy those moments deserved. That’s not to say many of those moments were not conflicting for me because they too had problems. Juno’s confession of love to Paulie is a tender, well-written moment, largely because it gives us a more vulnerable and sweet Juno. But it proved ultimately to be an empty one for me because the film has never once given us any reason why Juno would or should feel this way about him. Juno’s step-mother standing up for her at the doctor’s office was another poignant moment, even if it rested on the improbability of an ultrasound machine operator forgetting her professionalism. And so on.

In the end, though, the final twenty minutes were just too little too late, and as I left the theatre I felt like I was back in high school, watching the most popular kid be swarmed with people starving to give him/her attention, and all I’m thinking is: “I don’t get it.”

The Top 10 Most Anticipated Games of 2008

Posted by videogames On February - 5 - 2008

By Alexander B. HulsStill got that kung-fu grip.

After the onslaught of high-profile gaming releases in the winter quarter last year, we find ourselves in the usual post X-mas drought, and like most gamers, I feel a little itchy for something new and good. Don’t get me wrong, Mass Effect and Rock Band are enough to keep any man satisfied for a long time, but we video gamers are fickle, always wanting something new and unexplored. So in that spirit, here’s a forward looking list of games coming out this year, that I wish I could be playing right now.

10. SingStar (PS3)
I love singing. Ask my friends. I’m a veritable old-Hollywood musical, prone to “spontaneously” bursting out into the song without the slightest pretense of a sense of decorum (sometimes at urinals in public). Given that I’m always singing away – especially at home – I might as well be earning some form of reward for it. With the option to turn my console into essentially a karaoke machine, with the ability to download songs a la Rock Band, this game can’t come soon enough. Especially for the purpose of hosting awkward karaoke parties where I sing every second song.

9. Metal Gear Solid IV: Guns of the Patriots (PS3)
Honestly, it’s Metal Gear Solid. Not that I want to be accused of being lazy, but do I really need to write any more than that? Fine. It’s really really pretty. Also Snake is friggin’ old. It’ll be like watching Harrison Ford do his thing in the new Indiana Jones film this summer, just with more super-powered machinery.No one can smell you shitting yourself in space.

8. Dead Space (PS3/Xbox360)
I really shouldn’t tell you that I’m anticipating this game, because I’m actually a little torn over it. On the one hand the game is being compared to Alien, which is very good. On the other, it’s also being compared to Event Horizon, which is the only movie to have given me nightmares as an adult. On the one hand it’s exciting that the developing team is watching tons of horror movies – from gory to psychological – to see what makes something scary, so they can instill that in their game. On the other hand, that might mean this game could be the scariest game I’ve ever played. Hell, the screenshots and videos show monsters that already give me the heebie-jeebies. But like most people, I’m up for a good scare, and the team seems to have a firm grasp of their idea, so I probably should start stocking up on an extra pack of underwear.

7. Ghostbusters: Video Game (PS3/Xbox360) Back off, man. I’m a scientist.
Ever since I was a young kid I’ve dreamt of being a Ghostbuster. How I could not be excited about a game then that allows me to be the newest Ghostbuster recruit, along side Spengler, Stantz, Zeddmore, and Venkman? Throw in the fact that it’s a pseudo-third installment in the film series, that it heavily references the first two films, and is being supervised by Harold Ramis and Dan Akroyd? Well, come the game’s release time, I know who I’m going to call.

6. Rainbow Six Vegas 2 (PS3/Xbox360)
It’s the sequel to my second favorite game of 2006. How could I not be there? Even though the story was weak and this one apparently picks up moments after the last one left off, what really makes the game exciting is the sheer fun of the gameplay. If the developers can just carry that over from the first, it’ll be golden.

5. Fable 2 (Xbox360)
I’ll be honest. I appreciated what the first Fable sought out to do and what it did, but I just couldn’t get into it. Perhaps one day it merits another chance, but for now I’ll just hold out till Fable 2. As always, Peter Molyneux is making big promises, but the man usually does a decent job of meeting them. And what he’s promising sounds pretty exciting, even if I’m not entirely convinced of the fighting system just yet. I guess it’s just a matter of seeing whether Molyneux and Lionhead can meet the one expectation they usually don’t: releasing a game in a timely manner.

4. GTA IV (PS3/Xbox360)
The only GTA I ever finished was the third installment. The extreme open-endedness of Vice City and San Andreas ended up backfiring on me – I became so overwhelmed that I ultimately moved on to other games and never came back. However, what has me excited about this installment is a slight re-tooling of the franchise to be more realistic and grounded in reality. Yes, it’s a video game, but when you’re looking at videos of an upcoming game and getting flashes of Mean Streets via Scarface, then the developers are doing something right.…the real star of the game, Grngrhglx.

3. Resistance 2 (PS3)
One of my favorite games I played last year (in co-op mode with the venerable Miles Baker, no less) is birthing its sequel already, and I couldn’t be more thrilled. We get to keep following the adventures of super-soldier Nathan Hale as he comes to America and continues to take down the alien scum that would make our world their breeding ground. And not the sexy kind of breeding. If you want that you gotta go back to last year’s Mass Effect. Now that shit was hot.

2. Ninja Gaiden 2 (Xbox360)Choppy chop chop!
This game is bloody. Like seriously bloody. I mean this is a game where you have to completely decimate your enemies. And I do mean you have to. Watching gameplay videos you’ll see that cutting off an arm or a leg isn’t enough. Those dedicated ninjas will keep coming after you anyway. That’s why there are attacks that involve you literally cutting off every single appendage, including the head, leaving a bloody torso on the ground. Another attack involves you knocking an enemy into the air, slicing off an arm or a leg, bear hugging them, and then slamming their body into a swishy mess in the ground. You can also go for arrows that essentially make your enemies combust into bits and pieces. I’m not making this up. Now despite the fact that I’m going on about the violence, (and I think mostly it’s because I really can’t believe how violent this game really is) it’s not the reason I look forward to this game. The reason is that after several rehashings of the original game (Black and Sigma) we finally get a true sequel to one of the best action games I’ve ever played.

1. Fallout 3 (PS3/Xbox360)
Speaking of best games I’ve ever played, here is another sequel to one of those. (On that note, what is with all the sequels this year?) Fallout 1 and 2 are responsible for getting me not only me into RPGs, but getting me into games on a deeper level. The fact that Bethesda Softworks of Oblivion fame is doing it makes me even more excited that the franchise is in the hands of a developer who knows how to make an open-world RPG on this scale. Sure, we have to forfeit the traditional top-down view of the Fallout universe, but hey, at this point that’s nothing more than a senseless quibble in the face of getting another installment of the franchise at all. Post-apocalyptic world, here I come.

MONDOvideogames’ Top 7 Picks of 2007

Posted by admin On December - 26 - 2007

Your favourite Xbox 360 owner lets you know what he’s been playing on it.

By Alexander B. Huls

7. Resistance (PS3)
Though technically this game came out in 2006, I didn’t play it till 2007, which is why it makes the list now. That fact means the game had the poor fortune to be played by me after a similarly themed “aliens take over and/or threaten to take over the world” game was released (Gears of War), and it just doesn’t stack up in comparison. That should by no means suggest that this wasn’t a great game. Given that Resistance is essentially Call of Duty just with aliens substituted for Nazis (and boy, does that alleviate my only moral conundrum of being a German having to shoot Germans), this game was as welcome to me as a homemade apple pie a la mode. And just like said apple pie, I devoured it greedily and with pleasure, and found myself thoroughly content after.

 

6. Guitar Hero III (XBOX 360)
Despite the switch in developers, this Guitar Hero has emerged as the best one to date (except for that horrible Battle Mode) not because they changed the game play at all (which is a good thing), but because the leaps and bound the soundtrack has made. In fact, that soundtrack would usually help this game be higher on my list if it weren’t for …

5. Rock Band (XBOX 360)
Though really Guitar Hero III has by far the more extensive – and in many ways the better – soundtrack, than Rock Band, there’s just no trumping the sheer awesomeness of being able to play guitar, bass, drums, and also sing. The smaller and inferior soundtrack also doesn’t really matter in the long run given the promise of frequently added downloadable content. It really comes down a matter of mathematically produced emotions. Guitar Hero + 1 Person = feeling like a guitarist extraordinaire. Rock Band + 2-4 people + being able to play real sets together, like a real band = rock star orgasm.

4. Halo 3 (XBOX 360)
The reason this game is so high on the list is not the single-player – which frankly was blah, and just a repetition of the first two games – but the multi-player. That’s in part because the multi-player is just so damn addictive and fun, but because the game should deserve some recognition for the fact that it got me into online gaming in the first place. A few years back I’d sworn off playing online due to a mixture of reasons (annoying teenagers gay-bashing, and I sucked), but Halo 3 has drawn me back in and shown me the errors of my ways. For that, Master Chief has certainly earned his No. 4 position.

3. Call of Duty 4 (XBOX 360)
At this point I honestly cannot contribute anything to say positively about this game that hasn’t been already said a billion times by others. Effectively it boils down to this: Yes, the single player is insanely short, but it is also insanely awesome. The cinematically intense single-player experience – which ups the “Oh Shit!” moments Call of Duty is known for – was one of the most exciting, exhilarating gaming experiences I’ve had to date. Call of Duty, it seems, should have ditched the Nazis a long time ago.

2. Mass Effect (XBOX 360)
Given my occasional rumblings on this site about single-player experiences this year lacking substantial stories, it should come as no surprise perhaps that my top two titles both have great narratives. Admittedly, RPGs such as Mass Effect are a genre more conducive, and more well-known for stories, but that’s no excuse. Mass Effect is everything I have come to expect from one of my favorite developers, BioWare. The thing is, they gave me more than I expected. Taking their well-established strengths from Knights of the Old Republic and Jade Empire, they’ve blown their own benchmark out of the water. With a story full of high adventure (I dare you not to get excited by the end), a combat system that only gets more fun as the game goes on, and great characters, this game stands out. But what really distinguishes it, and what makes it such a unique, and fascinating game, is the moral dilemmas it presents you, and the subsequent diverging paths your story can take based solely on the decisions you make. When a game presents you with a problem, and you actually find yourself pausing and thinking for a minute what you not only want to do, but should do? That’s a classic in the making.

1. BioShock (XBOX 360)
The race between Mass Effect and BioShock was a close one. Really close. I mean, BioWare and Irrational Games made two of my favorite games ever, Knights of the Old Republic, and System Shock 2 respectively. Not only that, both Mass Effect and BioShock are effectively spiritual sequels to those games. The reason the latter ultimately wins out though is deceptively simple: atmosphere. Whether it be the level design, the graphics, or more importantly the mysterious narrative Irrational weaves into the environment around you, you’re left constantly on the edge of your nerves, wondering what is going on, and what might pop out at you next. That’s nothing more to say about the fact that this game is genuinely scary and disturbed, a bizarre meld of Clive Barker and Ayn Rand, leaving me perhaps more unsettled than any game outside of Condemned. Where Mass Effect immerses you in the pleasures of its high adventure, it remains a distancing immersion. BioShock pulls you right into its world in every sense, never letting you go until it spits you back out when you beat it.

Favorite TV Moments of Fall ’07

Posted by television On December - 26 - 2007

Complete with clips to tide you over through the Christmas specials and season reruns.

By Alexander B. Huls

Though it was often a truncated season, and one that might be a long time returning after Christmas, here are some of the moments I most enjoyed from this year’s batch of shows, new and old.

Slapsgiving, How I Met Your Mother

Continuing what has become a running joke on the show, the creators of HIMYM took it to hilarious new heights. Not only does Marshall make Thanksgiving also Slapsgiving (i.e. a day where slappage occurs), after finally receiving the allowance of the Slap Bet Commissioner (i.e. Lily) to go ahead and take his pound of flesh from Barney, Marshall launches into a pre-composed song honoring the act. “The Slap Song” makes for another classic HIMYM moment, and to me, it is this year’s Robin Sparkles.

“I own you,” Dexter

After watching Dexter being harassed by Doakes, and secretly wishing Dexter would do something about it (as long as it didn’t endanger our hero), we finally got our moment. In hindsight, I still think it was an insanely stupid thing to do, but that’s about all I’ll say, because, frankly, this moment just needs to speak for itself.

“I’m Batman,” Supernatural

The funniest the show has produced so far, this episode (“Bad Day at Black Rock”) had numerous excellent moments – the “I lost my shoe” bit being a classic – but this for me was the best. As if Dean wasn’t bad enough with his bad-ass cockiness, throw in a temporary luck-bringing rabbit’s foot that can ensure his safety, and you’ve got yourself a funny situation, made even more so by a well placed, self-aggrandizing pop-culture reference.

The Kiss, Chuck

After months of watching Chuck long for Sarah quietly (and sometimes not so quietly), when both were faced with their imminent death it was a pleasant shock to see the two finally lock lips. Most surprising was the fact that Sarah kissed Chuck – instead of the other way around – as the latter sadly resigned himself to a casual “It was nice knowing you.” Of course, things wouldn’t be easy for Chuck and Sarah (as subsequent episodes proved), but we Chuck/Sarah relationshippers will always have this kiss to keep us going. Or at least to live up to. I mean, that was a hot kiss.

Henry Dances, Ugly Betty

Of all the clips to choose from, this may be an odd choice. The thing is, I’ve adored Henry (and sure, his “will they or won’t they” relationship with Betty) since his first appearance. So, to see the adorable accountant break out of his comfortable self and show off his moves (spanning everything from Russian to John Travolta), in a wife-beater no less? Bliss.

Saran Wrap Kiss, Pushing Daisies

Watching this clip completely out of context, it’s a marvel that one doesn’t overdose on the sugar-sweet cuteness essentially injected into your heart. But like most good and addictive drugs, you inevitably develop a stronger immunity to its effects, while simultaneously desiring and loving it more. After so many episodes, I now expect Pushing Daisies to supply me with the adorable Ned and Chuck moments I so desperately crave. This addiction can be traced back most significantly to their first (on-screen) kiss. If nothing else, this clip earns its place here for making saran wrap unnaturally romantic.

By Alexander B. Huls

Tim Kring & Co. are A-OK in my book

After doling (that’s my new favorite word) out a fair amount of criticism in the direction of Heroes, I have to admit — I feel sort of guilty now that Tim Kring has come out and admitted to and apologized for the mistakes made so far in Season Two. You’d think after all my huffing and puffing, I’d be here doing the Dance of Joy and muttering “I was right” to myself, but all I really have to say is how much respect I now have for Kring. My issues with the Season One finale and the current season aside, it’s hard enough for a creative individual to watch criticism perpetually thrown at his/her little baby; but to then absorb them, process them, and concede that those criticisms are valid, then apologize for them, and promise to fix things? That, fair readers, makes Tim Kring and his fellow writers what one would call stand-up acts. I know they are not reading this, but nevertheless, I wish to salute them — one and all — for doing something that can’t have been easy to do. It indicates an admirable honesty and impressive respect for their audiences — something I thought they had lost with the Season One finale. I was wrong.

Canada gets darker

Television shows shot in Canada are now beginning to shut-down. Not so much of a loss for Bionic Woman, but Battlestar Galactica? With Season Four already delayed till April, all I can say is that the studios better trip, get some sense knocked into their heads, and decide to finally give the writers what they deserve, because I need more Battlestar Galactica. Sure, Razor tides me over, but if you saw the Season Three finale, you’ll know how hard it is already to be waiting.

Strike stuff

The strike is certainly having an interesting effect on most television shows. With scripts now starting to run out, many shows are creating pseudo-finales so that there is a degree of closure for viewers, or an incentive for them to return whenever the strike is resolved. In some cases, writers had enough of a heads-up to accommodate the strike, while in other cases show-runners are creating alternate endings that could be used should the strike not be resolved by the time of their airing. Of course this isn’t always easy, and in some cases it will really suck — such as with Lost, which already has an expiry date (2010) with a certain amount of episodes to be fulfilled. Or what about 24? Like Lost, as of now, it only has eight episodes. Unless they aim to rename it 8, it may not very work well. Then again, given the production woes that have plagued this season of the show, maybe it’s a mercy kill. Especially for show creators trying to form a sense of closure, these shortened seasons signal an acceptance of the possibility that this strike might go on for quite a while.

The thing about these truncated seasons is, that although there is a degree of truth to the many studios’ obnoxious assertions that writers will be more negatively affected by the strike than the studios themselves, I keep on thinking that it’s hot air. Sure, reality shows will re-emerge (unfortunately), but I’m not convinced that they will be as successful as they used to be, especially now that narrative shows have once again gained a significant foothold. If reality shows fail to draw large audiences, then of course, less viewers means less advertising money. I’m also thinking about the lost revenue in DVD sales. TV-on-DVD has become a booming market — both in rental and retail — and shorter seasons mean distributors can’t charge as much, which — ironically and unfortunately — means even less royalty money for writers. The writers are going to be hit hard, no doubt, but if you consider the huge amount of money that is at stake for greedy studios unwilling to concede to writers’ demands? I don’t know. I don’t get it.

On that note, now’s probably the appropriate time — if you hadn’t noticed already — to express my 100 percent solidarity with the writers who deserve every cent they ask for and a crap-load more. It’s mind-boggling that screenwriters and television writers get so royally screwed over when in most other major writer professions (novel writers, non-fiction, playwrights) things are so different. Thank a rich tradition dating back to the Golden Age of Hollywood, where writers were as expendable and exchangeable as light bulbs — an attitude that was never corrected, as is readily apparent with this current strike. I could go on a nice long rant over the issues, but maybe I’ll save that for another time. My soap box is currently at the dry cleaner’s, so I feel ill-prepared.

By Miles Baker and Alexander B. Huls

Uncharted Difficulty

The demo for Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune mapped itself onto the Playstation network last week to my immediate glee, and to that of seven other people I know who own a PS3. I’m looking forward to the next generation of jungle videogames, the next jungleration if you will. We’ve come a long way since Pitfall. I thought Metal Gear Solid 3 did a pretty good jungle, but it’s been put to shame by this one. You can almost feel the humidity and hear the malaria-ridden mosquitoes landing on your neck. The only problem I’m having is that I can’t beat this demo. I’ve only tried a half-dozen times or so, but it’s whooping me on Easy. Perhaps I just need more experience with this Gears of War–style gameplay. Maybe I’m just used to the easiness of most games these days, but for the love of Drake, this is hard. That said, it’s been added to the Christmas list — it’s a lot cheaper than actually traveling to a tropical island and there’s no malaria.
— Miles Baker

Don’t forget to buy your MONDObooks out now in stores everywhere (not really)

The newest firmware for the Playstation came out along with that Uncharted demo last week. There are some slick new additions that don’t interest me — like newly customable themes and playlists for my empty music section — and a new couple new additions to the Playstation Network, like the Information Board. Yes, a new scrolling bar at the top, right-hand corner of my screen is telling me the information I need to know: that I can buy a new Star Wars game with a special edition Darth Vader-themed PSP. Great.

Why does Sony feel that they have to punish me for my loyalty? They already have all my money, they have an online store where I choose to download ads for their upcoming products on a regular basis, and yet they feel that I need to have a scrolling ad over everything I do in the menu screen. Thankfully, you can turn it off, but why would you spend any development time on a scrolling ad bar? Who did they think this would appeal to? If there ever was a man loyal to your brand it was me, but come on.
— Miles Baker

Rock Band gives Canada the finger

For months I have been hotly anticipating the release of Rock Band on the planned North American release date of November 20th. I grew out my hair, I got “Freebird” tattooed on my forearm, and bought an endless supply of tight jeans and bandanas. If Rock Band was an atom bomb, my apartment was a well-supplied fallout shelter ready to take whatever megatons Rock Band wanted to drop on me.

But a few weeks ago I began to get worried. Strange, even unsettling things began to occur. First, even though the price for the game bundle had been announced a month or two ago for the US, no word had been given as to Canadian prices. No big deal I suppose, given the travails of the dollar of late. But then time passed, and the beginning of November the game went gold, the Nov. 20ths release date was confirmed, and still no word. Then things began to happen with the release date. Blockbuster’s systems had it delayed until December 10th, and then the 20th. EB Games (where I pre-ordered it) told me December 18th. If you bothered to check Best Buy or Future Shop’s website you wouldn’t have found any information regarding the price or the release date, and you wouldn’t even have found the game listed at all. This is all very odd for a game that was supposed to come out in a few weeks and had been announced to have gone gold.

Then the rumors began to emerge on the internet forums. Some suspected that if there was a delay it was due to some mishandling of French-ifying the bundle box, the game, instructions, etc. Others theorized it might have to do with the recent announcement by EA that supply would not meet demand, and therefore the American market would get favored over the Canadian. Others didn’t even bother to theorize, and just cried. And not a peep was heard from anyone involved with the game; not from EA, not from MTV Games, not from Harmonix.

Until Monday. Yes, only a week before the game was originally supposed to be coming out, someone (MTV Games) finally got around to telling us what we all feared but sort of knew already: Rock Band is delayed in Canada till December 17th.

Now, I’m of two minds here. On the one hand, I’m kind of pissed that this was so grossly mishandled by whoever is responsible for the distribution of the game. The thing is, I can’t even tell what they did wrong, because in the announcement about the delay nobody even bothered to give a reason for it. Thanks, guys. Canadians wanting to rock are left looking dumbfounded, wondering “Yeahbutwha?” I mean where’s the North American unity here? Usually I avoid the knee-jerk vitriolic, uneducated anti-Americanism that seems to somehow have become an ingrained part of being Canadian these days, but in this case I feel some of it bubbling to the surface. Over a video game, yes, I know that’s sad. But I shall spare you my bitter words because on the other hand, as a gamer, this delay isn’t a horrible thing. With games like Assassin’s Creed, Mass Effect, and Uncharted coming out in the next few weeks, I’m actually somewhat relived that I now I have one less game to divide my attention.

Besides, if I wear a bandana while playing all of those games it’ll kind of be the same. Right?
— Alexander B. Huls

MONDOcomics’ Top Ten DC Characters

Posted by Comics On November - 13 - 2007

The From The Heart List.

By Alexander B. Huls

10. Batman (Bruce Wayne)
Batman is on this list partially by default, and partially motivated by sheer nostalgia. The problem is that Batman hasn’t been an interesting character in years. Cool? Sure. Badass? Oh yeah. Grumpy? Most definitely. But interesting? It’s been a while. Actually, the only reason Batman made this list is because of James Robinson’s “Face the Face” arc is still fresh in my mind, and Robinson succeeded in making Batman interesting and human, rather than a snarling beast of vengeance (which is cool too, but…)

9. Stargirl (Courtney Whitmore)
Sure, there are an insane amount of teenage superheroes running around the DCU, but what makes Stargirl so great is that she’s a real teenager and appropriately written that way. When the world is in peril she’s empowered, she’s all business and can hold her weight amongst the top DCU characters. However, when things settle down, she’s just your average teenage girl who likes clothes, having fun, friends, and boys. There’s a reason my heart broke when she burst into tears after her relationship with Captain Marvel (i.e. Billy) ended. It was a uniquely teenage moment: the aftermath of losing one’s first love.

8. Manhunter (Kate Spencer)
A relatively new character to the DCU, but she’s made her impression on me. Oddly enough, the thing I enjoy most about her is that she can be a totally careless and insensitive bitch at times. It’s hard to like her when she treats people around here haphazardly, or when her negligence endangers her own son. But like anyone, she is (mostly) aware of her flaws and tries very hard to correct them on a personal level in the same way she begins to improve herself as a vigilante. Somehow, her tough-as-nails approach is precisely what makes her such a effective and entertaining hero: she won’t take crap from anyone and she will do anything to get a job done (which is mostly kill bad guys). I mean, if you can still manage to like a character who acts as Dr. Psycho’s defense attorney, you’ve got a good character.

7. Black Canary (Dinah Lance)
Gail Simone has helped evolve Dinah from a hero with a somewhat lame power to a bad-ass martial artist who has become one of the foremost fighters in the DCU. With characters being re-booted constantly, Simone pulled off a re-boot of this character that is barely noticeable, which is why it works. Just go back and start Simone’s Birds of Prey arc from the beginning, and you’ll see how she cleverly and deftly made Dinah into the character she perhaps always should have been, but never was: one of the DCU’s foremost heroes.

6. Slam Bradley
As a noir fan, I can say that Slam is the best iteration of genre’s hardboiled gum-shoe detective in comics. In all honesty, he barely deviates from that mold. He has an unhealthy enjoyment of booze, fighting, and occasionally women. He’s always grumpy, but has a heart of gold tucked away deep inside, and is always there for his friends in a pinch. So, though he may not be an original take on the hard boiled hero, in this corner of the DCU universe he works perfectly well, helped of course by the fact that Ed Brubaker writes him perfectly (no surprise given his own apparent love of noir).

5. Catwoman (Selina Kyle)
Like several characters on this list, Catwoman has really earned her place because of how certain writers have handled her. In this case, I’m really talking about Ed Brubaker’s take on Selina (though Will Pfeifer has done a great job continuing the character). Writing women in comics can often be a tricky deal, largely because of the way they are constantly depicted as large breasted vixens. Lately however, many writers have succeed in conceding the expectation of comic book women to be over-sexed in their depiction, while simultaneously allowing them to be strong, empowered women.

4. Starman (Jack Knight)
Owen’s list essentially covered what makes Jack Knight such a great character, and he would know because he loves that guy. Seriously. He has a tattoo of Jack yelling “Serenity now!” covering his entire back. It’s weird. But anyway, like Kate Spencer, what I always enjoyed most with Jack Knight was his journey. With so many established heroes who know how to do their job and balance their lives, it’s always somewhat refreshing to come across a character who has to learn to be a hero and through that, also learn to be a better human being, no matter what missteps occur along the way. Also, he had sex with a tentacled circus performer. That’s pretty awesome.

 

3. Black Adam
While he has more or less always remained the conceited elitist he’s always been, Black Adam has had a hell of a ride in the last few years. He was a villain, then a JSA member, then a villain again, then a dictator of his home country (Kahndaq), then a member of the Secret Society, then a reformed man in love and with a family, then the catalyst for World War III, and now a mere, powerless mortal. Even without his tumultuous ride, what I always enjoyed about Black Adam that he was so conceited, so assured of his superiority and ideologies that you can’t really hold it against him because he’s clearly not going to change. And isn’t there something to be said about someone who is so sure of his identity? Existential crisis? Black Adam doesn’t know what that is.

2. Nightwing (Dick Grayson)
With so many characters in the DC universe upgrading themselves from sidekick and adopting either the mantels of their mentors/heroes or entirely new ones, Dick Grayson’s move from Robin to Nightwing is the only one that is interesting and really matters. Being the first Robin with a now famous origin story certainly helps, but that wouldn’t have meant anything if Dick Grayson hadn’t grown into a hero and person worth caring about. Nightwing takes the most practical and best parts of Batman, but maintains a boyish charm and a leadership ability that is entirely his own. Sure, he sometimes lapses too far into the human side, and sometimes ends up being too much like Batman, but that’s what makes him so interesting, and ultimately one of the better leaders in the DCU.

1. The Flash (Wally West)
Ever since that cheesy TV show with the Dad from Dawson’s Creek, I’ve been suckered into loving The Flash. It wasn’t until I began reading Geoff Johns’ run on the title that I began to love a specific flash, however: Wally West. He is a hero through and through, willing to do anything for his friends or his city and, in Infinite Crisis, even the universe. But it’s the human side of Wally that I always enjoyed, the every-man vibe he has going for himself. Whether it’s being the light-hearted voice of reason in the JLA, being a typical oblivious husband (who fixes up a new apartment without the go ahead of Linda, or who drifts up when the in-laws visit), or just being a good, concerned, compassionate friend, city inhabitant, and human being, Wally West was never a hero with a human side to me. He was an everyday human being who just happened to be a hero.

By Alexander B. Huls

The prodigal son returns

If our massive Buffy event a few months ago wasn’t any indication, let me assure you: Joss Whedon is kind of a big deal around here. That in turns means the biggest news this week in television is the news that, after a somewhat unfortunate and unsuccessful dabbling in film, Joss Whedon is returning to television, with old friend Eliza Dushku, a.k.a. Faith, in tow. You hear that noise? That’s Co-EIC Miles Baker, squealing with the delight of Homer Simpson winning a lifetime supply of beer.

So what show is this that was formidable enough to bring Whedon out of his self-exile from television? Dollhouse follows the likes of Echo (Dushku), who is implanted with a “personality package” of various adoptable identities, memories, and skills that enable her to carry out particular missions — only to have these packages wiped out when the mission is done. In effect, these characters are only ever who they need to be, when they need to be, and never really have their own personality. I have long been fascinated by existential themes and preoccupations, so this is right up my alley. Inevitably, the media studies student in me can’t help but wonder if the show’s concept is a clever commentary on the impact of media inundation on our contemporary lives, which turns all of our identities into postmodern pastiches and dilutes our “true” identities in the process. Or you know, if it’s just a cool idea for an action/science-fiction show.

There is more good (and some bad) news within the welcome news of Whedon’s return. The good news is that Fox has already committed to seven episodes, and provided the show with a mighty spending account, specifically $1.5 to $2 million per episode. Great, right? The bad news? Well, your alarm bells may have gone off at the mention of Fox. Yes, the Fox that severely bungled Whedon’s Firefly when it was on the air, and which has bungled countless other shows, is producing Dollhouse. So even though I am excited, my heart shall be on guard, in order to avoid the heartbreak I experienced when Firefly passed away. All the while, Miles’ squealing will be going on in the background.

Source: EWThe times they are a-changing?

Is it just me, or has this been somewhat of a unique television season (at least in recent memory), on account of the fact that so far the only major show to be cancelled has been Viva Laughlin? I’m not sure I even want to count that instance, given that it got cancelled less than 48 hours after its pilot aired. It’s kind like getting married and then getting divorced two days later. Sure, legally, maybe you’ve been married, but really married? Not so much. My personal mistakes aside, it seems that this season nothing is falling by the wayside. Of course, there are some that seem to be on the cusp, but in most cases the exact opposite is happening. Gossip Girl got a full season almost right out of the gate. Bionic Woman, Reaper, Pushing Daisies, Samantha Who, and a handful of others have either been picked up, or orders have been placed for more scripts. Seeing as the majority of these are great shows (except — gag — Bionic Woman), this is kinda exciting.

Admittedly, the script-ordering is in part on account of the impending strike you’ve no doubt heard about at this point. Who knew that the best way to keep (mostly) quality television on the air is to threaten a strike? We should have one every year. Well, not really, because if those scripts run out, be prepared for the resultant slew of reality TV to drive you to your local Blockbuster, so you can rent the shows you just never got around to watching.

Where did all the originality go?

In the latest proof that business likes to cash in on a good thing, news comes that The Office is getting a spin-off, and that the successful British comedy spear-headed by Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright (of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz fame), Spaced, is being remade in the US market.

In the case of The Office, I hope they learn from the recent cancellation of the Heroes: Origins series. Stop being greedy and wanting more money from an established product, because you’re just going to overextend yourself and dilute the product that you’re hoping to milk in the first place. Most people are assuming that the Origins project got cancelled because of the writers strike. Honestly? I think it’s because the main series is not only losing ratings, but taking a beating in quality — something critics have been pointing out. I know the idea has worked in the past. Look at the CSI spin-offs, or the most recent Grey’s Anatomy spin-off, Private Practice. Even if The Office spin-off has its own entirely separate creative team, I’m still worried, and will hold it accountable if anything happens to Michael Scott and the gang.

In the case of Spaced — well, maybe The Office has set the bad precedent of a show from the U.K. being remade successfully.

Why do you break my heart?

Season 4 of Battlestar Galactica has been postponed from February to April. I just can’t find the words right now to express how my heart aches.

Review: Guitar Hero III Legends of Rock (Xbox360 & PS3)

Posted by videogames On November - 6 - 2007

Published by: RedOctane
Developd by: Neversoft Entertainment

By Alexander B. Huls and Miles Baker

Alex’s Take (for the Xbox 360 version)

If the new installment is any indication, Guitar Hero is going to be around for a long time. Some were worried that the change in management might affect the game’s quality, but Neversoft has managed to create another successful game in the series and in some ways the best one yet.

Without a doubt, Guitar Hero III has the best soundtrack to date. The previous games had a handful of songs that were too far above the back that you would end up playing those and skipping others. In the third game, you almost don’t want to repeatedly play your favorite because you’d be missing out on playing songs that are equally good. QuickPlay has never been harder, because there are just too many good choices there. Of course, the best part of having a great soundtrack is that it makes the game that much more fun to play.

While the basic and most important elements of the game are all awesome, not everything works. It’s partly on account of these cursed slabs of meat I call hands; I’ve pretty much reconciled myself with the fact that I’ll always be a Medium-difficulty-level kind of guy. As Miles will say, for someone like me, who apparently just can’t move his fingers fast enough, Hard is too fast too soon, with too many buttons. Hell, I can barely make it through Metallica’s “One” on Medium, let alone the musical monstrosity that is DragonForce’s “Through the Fire and Flames.” Also, though the Battle Mode isn’t a bad idea in theory, the execution is somewhat mangled, on account of Mario-Kart-like “weapons” employed. You’re better off sticking to the usual Face-Off and Pro Face-Off modes. Finally, even though the little video cut-sequences in between set lists in career mode are welcome, it becomes annoying when its narrative plays on the idea of selling out, when Guitar Hero itself has purchasable guitars sponsored by Axe and an entire stage with Pontiac emblazed on it.

What really matters though is the quality of the soundtrack and its fun factor, and though I wish the game was more accommodating in the difficulty department, Guitar Hero III is exactly what you want — and even need — from a Guitar Hero installment.

Now, I didn’t buy the new guitar for the Xbox360 because a) I already have two guitars, and b) I’m really saving up for Rock Band, I can’t really weigh in on the new Les Paul, but that’s why we have Miles Baker, our own personal Spider-Man, ready to swoop in and save the day.

Miles’ Take (for the PS3 version)

The new wireless guitar is much like the game itself — mostly awesome with a few flaws. The size is a little bit larger than the other models, which makes it feel a little less flimsy and better in your hands. And this baby is sleek. I’ve been known to caress it in a way I should reserve for lovers. The wireless function of it is merely okay. I’m not doing a lot of moves that require me to be cord-free, but there it is — no cord. The most annoying feature is that you have to plug a USB doggle into the front of your machine to make it work. I don’t know why they didn’t use the built in Bluetooth, because then we could also have a rechargeable battery, rather than this AA nonsense.

That said, I love my baby.

As for the game — amazing songs, a ton of fun to play. I just wish the difficulty were more manageable and the learning curve less steep. Activision is assuming people can see faster these days, what with our fast-cutting music videos, but they are wrong. But I still see at the same speed I always have and still only have five four fingers and one thumb. If you’re going to introduce the fifth button, maybe have a song or two at normal speed just so we get the hang of it. But as I type this I’m confused that my fingers aren’t being associated with a colour (I can’t wait to wear a ring on my red button finger, it will be so romantic). So to ease my confusion I’m going to induce more carpal tunnel syndrome.

Miles’ Top 5 Songs, the most awesome/fun to play

1. My Name is Jonas – Weezer
2. Ruby – the Kaiser Chiefs
3. Bulls on Parade – Rage Against the Machine
4. The Metal – Tenacious D
5. Black Magic Woman – Santana

Alex’s Playlist

1. Hier Kommt Alex – Die Toten Hosen
2. When You Were Young – The Killers
3. La Grange – ZZ Top
4. Pride and Joy – Stevie Ray Vaughan
5. Same Old Song and Dance – Aerosmith

Hidden Gem — Condemned: Criminal Origins

Posted by admin On October - 30 - 2007

Condemned: Criminal Origins (Xbox 360)
Developed by Monolith Productions
Published by SEGA

By Alexander B. Huls

I don’t frighten easily. I get unnerved, unsettled, creeped out, even disturbed. But I don’t every really get scared. Like, so scared that the only way I can release the pent up fear is to scream out loud, with a few swear words thrown in to help appropriately ebb the fear welling up inside of me. And maybe pee my pants a little.

Condemned: Criminal Origins proved to be the exception to the rule.

The game was the first one I bought after buying my Xbox 360, and having heard of its frightening reputation, I decided to prove how manly was, test the fates, and play it in the dark. I subsequently spent the next thirty minutes with my heart beating in my throat and — despite that obvious obstruction — screams squeezing through and words spewing out that would make my mother blush.

So, what makes it damn scary? Well, in a word, atmosphere. The game is set in a world going to hell around you, F.B.I. Agent Ethan Thomas. Strange things are happening around town, including birds dying and increase in violent behavior amongst addicts, who like to taunt you by calling you “asshole” and hunting you down. Then they ferociously try to club you to death with whatever items they can find lying around. Throw in a serial killer named Match Maker who likes to position his victims in staged scenes involving mannequins (if you didn’t find mannequins frightening already, this game will ensure you do from now on) who frames you for the murder of two other agents and taunts you about it. You’ll feel like you’re wandering through a world-on-the-brink dreamed up by Nietzsche or Clive Barker (minus horrible creatures).

With the entire world drenched in a darkness that can hide a coked-out addict ready to lunge at you with a horrifying scream and wrench, and amazingly designed sound that details everything, especially the enemy you can hear nearby, but can’t see (which really messes with your mind), you’re never really at ease in the game. It gets to the point where your anticipation of something popping out at you makes it that much worse when something actually does (hence, screams). Sometimes, that will be the above-mentioned addicts who are actually smart enough to run from you and hide somewhere in order to pop out at you later when you walk by; in other cases, it’ll be the serial killer himself. In one frightening sequence I was chasing the killer into a subway station when he popped out from a door he was hiding in and shoved me down some stairs. I’m pretty sure that shaved a year off my lifespan.

Once your enemies appear and attack you, it doesn’t get much better. The sickening sound of metal meeting bone, grunts of pain, frantic yelling on account of the physical exertion of swinging heavy objects in the heat of battle, and the specific timing required to land a blow in the first-person fighting mode all make it so that your heart doesn’t really have a chance to catch up until your enemy lies dead at your feet.

Now, in case you’re thinking, “That doesn’t sound so bad” and “Well, maybe you’re just a wuss,” let me assure you that that isn’t the case. I had suspected that too. So a while back, I had some friends over and asked them to play — with the lights out — and see how it would go. Their screams in the dark assuaged my concerns, proved how scary the game was, and made me feel a little bit better about the fact that I had peed my pants again.

This Week in Electrons: Updates on the usual suspects

Posted by television On October - 23 - 2007

By Alexander B. Huls

Pushing Daisies

Who knew the most romantic and adorable scenes I’ve seen in ages would involve plastic wrap and a rubber glove? And yes, that might sound like a normal Saturday night-in with your significant other for some people, but in the fair tale wonderland of Pushing Daisies it was something much more innocent. Pushing Daisies has certainly lived up to its pilot, barely missing a beat in the process. Though the centerpiece of this show is obviously the relationship between Ned and Chuck, as well as its gimmicky (I mean that in a good way here) concept, in the last few weeks the show has also proven itself to back those up with quirky humor (with a cynical edge), and some of the most enjoyable dialogue currently on television. What is also a minor miracle is that the cuteness between Ned and Chuck never is too much. If it were handled in any other way, it would be so saccharine you would feel like you were overdosing on sugar, but instead by the end of the episode my face hurts because I’ve been smiling the entire time, and it’s a welcome pain. Admittedly, I’m a romantic sucker who eats stuff like this up, but given the critical love this show is getting, it seems to be getting through to even the most hardened cynics. Then again, it is ultimately a magical fairytale that never pretends to be anything but, which is exactly why it works, even when it deviates from the world we know (in which dandelion run cars don’t exist, nor do morgues that look like there from a Dr. Seuss book).

The one thing that has been on my mind is why this show is faring better than Bryan Fuller’s previous outings, Wonderfalls and Dead Like Me, and last week it came to me. Though the show has the same cynicism of its predecessors — which I think is what kept people away — it is cleverly diluted thanks to the fairytale nature of the story, so that you’re not often aware how cynical and dark it actually is at times. It’s a fairy tale with dark comedy in it. Not just a dark comedy, and somehow that seems to make it more accessible than Fuller’s previous shows. No matter how cynical characters are, no matter how many people are murdered, as long as that is all tucked underneath the infectious fairytale of Ned and Chuck and the show’s gigantic heart, you’ll often forget to notice its amusing and hidden black spots.

Chuck

A few weeks back, after a disappointing second episode, Chuck had me concerned that it was already derailing from its promising start. The last two episodes assuaged my fears. After the slight second week hiccup, the shows seems to have found its groove, the episodic formula that works for it but that allows them to insert variables into it that keep the whole thing from getting stale and repetitious (a notable risk with spy shows that require weekly missions). The missions themselves have been fun, thanks to Chuck being totally in over his head — whether he be tangoing or party mingling — but what is making the show so enjoyable is not only that it’s willing to explore characters emotional personal and interpersonal conflicts and relationships, but it often integrates them successfully into the missions, creating a seamless dramatic/adventure tapestry. For Chuck (the character), and in Chuck (the show), the two worlds may be seemingly different, but the two are constantly bleeding into each other. Despite the exciting grand adventure of the spy missions, Chuck seems aware that at its core, it’s really about its characters, which is why it features some of my favorite relationships currently on television, most notably the adorable one between siblings Chuck and Ellie, as well as the complicated but poignant one between Chuck and Sarah. Now if only they could give us more of Captain Awesome (where the heck was he last week? I demand more tango lessons!), give Casey more and better things to do (because Adam Baldwin deserves better), try harder to not let Morgan get stale (last week’s dating sub-plot for him was a step in the right direction), and give us more great guest characters like last week’s Corrina (and no, she wasn’t great just because she was half-naked for most of the episode. Okay… maybe that was part it).

On an entirely unrelated note, what is with all the Chuck’s in new shows this year? There is a Chuck in this show (duh), in Pushing Daisies, and in Gossip Girl. Is Chuck the new Apple/Suri/Shiloh? You decide.

Heroes

Perilously close to being dropped, Heroes earned itself a little more time with this week’s episode thanks to the Alejandro and Maya plotline becoming worthwhile, if only because Sylar is now involved, the intriguing revelation that the man Molly has nightmares about is Matt Parkman’s father, the (proper) return of the Haitian, and the lack of the lackluster Hiro and Peter storylines. Granted, there were still problems (do we really need an introduction of yet another hero with a boring storyline, a.k.a. Mikael’s cousin?), but the above managed to stave off me dropping the show for another week. Also, how could I bail when I know Kirsten Bell is finally making her appearance next week? Let’s hope she’s just not forced to have her talents slummed like they are over on Gossip Girl with the horrible narration they give her. If so, then I fear even Veronica Mars can’t save Heroes.

Bionic Woman

Despite this week being another lackluster episode representative of all the problems mentioned here last week, the straw that finally broke this viewer’s back was the fact that it was mentioned five or more times — almost verbatim — in this week’s episode that Jamie “cost” fifty million dollars to “make.” A funny thing to get tripped up on, I know, but it just sort of reinforced what I said previously about the show having no proper direction, and therefore is running around in circles and constantly repeating itself. So in order to avoid me repeating the same complaints every week, and to repeatedly waste an hour of my time, Bionic Woman is now officially the second new show to be buried in Alex’s TV graveyard.

Ugly Betty

In addition to brief cameos by James Van Der Beek and John Cho, this week’s episode featured a welcome and great appearance by our dear old friend, Victor Garber (Editor: Mr. Garber’s agents have requested that — in the spirit of full disclosure — indicate Alexander B. Huls never has been, nor ever will be, a friend of Mr. Garber’s) as a hilariously cruel Pulitzer Prize winning writer and teacher. Here’s hoping Betty doesn’t fail/pass anytime soon and that we get more of Mr. Garber on the show.

Review: Halo 3 (Xbox 360)

Posted by videogames On October - 23 - 2007

Developed by Bungie Software
Published by Microsoft

By Alexander B. Huls

Writing a review of Halo 3 is a relatively easy affair because in most ways the work has already been done for me, by me. If you’ve read my reviews of Halo: Combat Evolved and Halo 2 last month then you’re pretty much caught up with my thoughts on the third installment of the series. The campaign mode is still incredibly short, possibly even shorter (or I just played it more in a shorter period of time) than the previous two games. The story still confuses me despite the fact that we’re refocused on the Master Chief (whereas in the previous game we also played the Arbiter). Except for some new locales — deserts, snowy mountains, jungles — the nature of the levels are exactly the same. Again there is a cartographer mission, and track-down-this-guy/ship/object missions, a stop-someone-from-activating-Halo mission, a destroy-Halo mission, and a game-ending get-off-Halo race mission, etc. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” is all fine and dandy, especially when you’ve got such a magnificent, addictive, super-blockbuster action experience (and there are some intense levels in this game), but inevitably one wishes for a series to take the next step up, not give you more of the same.

Where Halo does just that is in the multi-player mode. Now, I’ve always been slightly afraid of playing games online. It breaks down to a mixture of fearing to face my own failings as a gamer when pitted against others, and a fear that my intense dislike of annoying prepubescent teenage boys may overcome me and I’ll swear off ever having children. But when you’re paying $69.99 for a game, you might as well try every part of it. So I did. And I love it. I’m still not very good, but the matchmaker in the game is pretty adept at assigning you opponents and teammates that are roughly in your skill/experience range, keeping things fun but still challenging. A lovely mute function also helps banish the nasal whining and chest-thumping of said teenagers from my eardrums. The game features the usual array of solo and team games, most of which are great, with the inevitable duds (territories, assault, etc.). It also has a neat way of tracking your skill and experience level, making each new military designation a satisfying accomplishment, as are the numerous fun medals you can garner for certain in-game deeds (double kills, grenade kills, etc). Ultimately, it’s just plain fun, and dangerously addictive, and now that I’ve immersed myself in the world of Halo multiplayer, I can honestly say I’m hard pressed to remember it has a single-player campaign mode too.

If the addiction of multiplayer is not enough to keep one coming back, the game also saves full replays of your ten most recent played games. When you go to “Theatre” mode you can then go nuts exploring every second of each game from every conceivable angle. From there you can pause it and take screenshots of yourself in action (for example, all images in this article are actually taken from my games, and are of me), or you can record specific moments and post them as videos on Bungie’s website. On that note, Bungie has done an excellent job with their site, where you can get all sorts of statistics about your online career.

So while Halo 3 may not have the greatest single-player mode in the world, it has made a multi-player convert out of this fair reviewer. In fact, it has made a Sergeant, Grade 2. Yes, you have to salute.

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