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By Alexander B. Huls

Tim Kring & Co. are A-OK in my book

After doling (that’s my new favorite word) out a fair amount of criticism in the direction of Heroes, I have to admit — I feel sort of guilty now that Tim Kring has come out and admitted to and apologized for the mistakes made so far in Season Two. You’d think after all my huffing and puffing, I’d be here doing the Dance of Joy and muttering “I was right” to myself, but all I really have to say is how much respect I now have for Kring. My issues with the Season One finale and the current season aside, it’s hard enough for a creative individual to watch criticism perpetually thrown at his/her little baby; but to then absorb them, process them, and concede that those criticisms are valid, then apologize for them, and promise to fix things? That, fair readers, makes Tim Kring and his fellow writers what one would call stand-up acts. I know they are not reading this, but nevertheless, I wish to salute them — one and all — for doing something that can’t have been easy to do. It indicates an admirable honesty and impressive respect for their audiences — something I thought they had lost with the Season One finale. I was wrong.

Canada gets darker

Television shows shot in Canada are now beginning to shut-down. Not so much of a loss for Bionic Woman, but Battlestar Galactica? With Season Four already delayed till April, all I can say is that the studios better trip, get some sense knocked into their heads, and decide to finally give the writers what they deserve, because I need more Battlestar Galactica. Sure, Razor tides me over, but if you saw the Season Three finale, you’ll know how hard it is already to be waiting.

Strike stuff

The strike is certainly having an interesting effect on most television shows. With scripts now starting to run out, many shows are creating pseudo-finales so that there is a degree of closure for viewers, or an incentive for them to return whenever the strike is resolved. In some cases, writers had enough of a heads-up to accommodate the strike, while in other cases show-runners are creating alternate endings that could be used should the strike not be resolved by the time of their airing. Of course this isn’t always easy, and in some cases it will really suck — such as with Lost, which already has an expiry date (2010) with a certain amount of episodes to be fulfilled. Or what about 24? Like Lost, as of now, it only has eight episodes. Unless they aim to rename it 8, it may not very work well. Then again, given the production woes that have plagued this season of the show, maybe it’s a mercy kill. Especially for show creators trying to form a sense of closure, these shortened seasons signal an acceptance of the possibility that this strike might go on for quite a while.

The thing about these truncated seasons is, that although there is a degree of truth to the many studios’ obnoxious assertions that writers will be more negatively affected by the strike than the studios themselves, I keep on thinking that it’s hot air. Sure, reality shows will re-emerge (unfortunately), but I’m not convinced that they will be as successful as they used to be, especially now that narrative shows have once again gained a significant foothold. If reality shows fail to draw large audiences, then of course, less viewers means less advertising money. I’m also thinking about the lost revenue in DVD sales. TV-on-DVD has become a booming market — both in rental and retail — and shorter seasons mean distributors can’t charge as much, which — ironically and unfortunately — means even less royalty money for writers. The writers are going to be hit hard, no doubt, but if you consider the huge amount of money that is at stake for greedy studios unwilling to concede to writers’ demands? I don’t know. I don’t get it.

On that note, now’s probably the appropriate time — if you hadn’t noticed already — to express my 100 percent solidarity with the writers who deserve every cent they ask for and a crap-load more. It’s mind-boggling that screenwriters and television writers get so royally screwed over when in most other major writer professions (novel writers, non-fiction, playwrights) things are so different. Thank a rich tradition dating back to the Golden Age of Hollywood, where writers were as expendable and exchangeable as light bulbs — an attitude that was never corrected, as is readily apparent with this current strike. I could go on a nice long rant over the issues, but maybe I’ll save that for another time. My soap box is currently at the dry cleaner’s, so I feel ill-prepared.

By Alexander B. Huls

The prodigal son returns

If our massive Buffy event a few months ago wasn’t any indication, let me assure you: Joss Whedon is kind of a big deal around here. That in turns means the biggest news this week in television is the news that, after a somewhat unfortunate and unsuccessful dabbling in film, Joss Whedon is returning to television, with old friend Eliza Dushku, a.k.a. Faith, in tow. You hear that noise? That’s Co-EIC Miles Baker, squealing with the delight of Homer Simpson winning a lifetime supply of beer.

So what show is this that was formidable enough to bring Whedon out of his self-exile from television? Dollhouse follows the likes of Echo (Dushku), who is implanted with a “personality package” of various adoptable identities, memories, and skills that enable her to carry out particular missions — only to have these packages wiped out when the mission is done. In effect, these characters are only ever who they need to be, when they need to be, and never really have their own personality. I have long been fascinated by existential themes and preoccupations, so this is right up my alley. Inevitably, the media studies student in me can’t help but wonder if the show’s concept is a clever commentary on the impact of media inundation on our contemporary lives, which turns all of our identities into postmodern pastiches and dilutes our “true” identities in the process. Or you know, if it’s just a cool idea for an action/science-fiction show.

There is more good (and some bad) news within the welcome news of Whedon’s return. The good news is that Fox has already committed to seven episodes, and provided the show with a mighty spending account, specifically $1.5 to $2 million per episode. Great, right? The bad news? Well, your alarm bells may have gone off at the mention of Fox. Yes, the Fox that severely bungled Whedon’s Firefly when it was on the air, and which has bungled countless other shows, is producing Dollhouse. So even though I am excited, my heart shall be on guard, in order to avoid the heartbreak I experienced when Firefly passed away. All the while, Miles’ squealing will be going on in the background.

Source: EWThe times they are a-changing?

Is it just me, or has this been somewhat of a unique television season (at least in recent memory), on account of the fact that so far the only major show to be cancelled has been Viva Laughlin? I’m not sure I even want to count that instance, given that it got cancelled less than 48 hours after its pilot aired. It’s kind like getting married and then getting divorced two days later. Sure, legally, maybe you’ve been married, but really married? Not so much. My personal mistakes aside, it seems that this season nothing is falling by the wayside. Of course, there are some that seem to be on the cusp, but in most cases the exact opposite is happening. Gossip Girl got a full season almost right out of the gate. Bionic Woman, Reaper, Pushing Daisies, Samantha Who, and a handful of others have either been picked up, or orders have been placed for more scripts. Seeing as the majority of these are great shows (except — gag — Bionic Woman), this is kinda exciting.

Admittedly, the script-ordering is in part on account of the impending strike you’ve no doubt heard about at this point. Who knew that the best way to keep (mostly) quality television on the air is to threaten a strike? We should have one every year. Well, not really, because if those scripts run out, be prepared for the resultant slew of reality TV to drive you to your local Blockbuster, so you can rent the shows you just never got around to watching.

Where did all the originality go?

In the latest proof that business likes to cash in on a good thing, news comes that The Office is getting a spin-off, and that the successful British comedy spear-headed by Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright (of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz fame), Spaced, is being remade in the US market.

In the case of The Office, I hope they learn from the recent cancellation of the Heroes: Origins series. Stop being greedy and wanting more money from an established product, because you’re just going to overextend yourself and dilute the product that you’re hoping to milk in the first place. Most people are assuming that the Origins project got cancelled because of the writers strike. Honestly? I think it’s because the main series is not only losing ratings, but taking a beating in quality — something critics have been pointing out. I know the idea has worked in the past. Look at the CSI spin-offs, or the most recent Grey’s Anatomy spin-off, Private Practice. Even if The Office spin-off has its own entirely separate creative team, I’m still worried, and will hold it accountable if anything happens to Michael Scott and the gang.

In the case of Spaced — well, maybe The Office has set the bad precedent of a show from the U.K. being remade successfully.

Why do you break my heart?

Season 4 of Battlestar Galactica has been postponed from February to April. I just can’t find the words right now to express how my heart aches.

This Week in Electrons: Updates on the usual suspects

Posted by television On October - 23 - 2007

By Alexander B. Huls

Pushing Daisies

Who knew the most romantic and adorable scenes I’ve seen in ages would involve plastic wrap and a rubber glove? And yes, that might sound like a normal Saturday night-in with your significant other for some people, but in the fair tale wonderland of Pushing Daisies it was something much more innocent. Pushing Daisies has certainly lived up to its pilot, barely missing a beat in the process. Though the centerpiece of this show is obviously the relationship between Ned and Chuck, as well as its gimmicky (I mean that in a good way here) concept, in the last few weeks the show has also proven itself to back those up with quirky humor (with a cynical edge), and some of the most enjoyable dialogue currently on television. What is also a minor miracle is that the cuteness between Ned and Chuck never is too much. If it were handled in any other way, it would be so saccharine you would feel like you were overdosing on sugar, but instead by the end of the episode my face hurts because I’ve been smiling the entire time, and it’s a welcome pain. Admittedly, I’m a romantic sucker who eats stuff like this up, but given the critical love this show is getting, it seems to be getting through to even the most hardened cynics. Then again, it is ultimately a magical fairytale that never pretends to be anything but, which is exactly why it works, even when it deviates from the world we know (in which dandelion run cars don’t exist, nor do morgues that look like there from a Dr. Seuss book).

The one thing that has been on my mind is why this show is faring better than Bryan Fuller’s previous outings, Wonderfalls and Dead Like Me, and last week it came to me. Though the show has the same cynicism of its predecessors — which I think is what kept people away — it is cleverly diluted thanks to the fairytale nature of the story, so that you’re not often aware how cynical and dark it actually is at times. It’s a fairy tale with dark comedy in it. Not just a dark comedy, and somehow that seems to make it more accessible than Fuller’s previous shows. No matter how cynical characters are, no matter how many people are murdered, as long as that is all tucked underneath the infectious fairytale of Ned and Chuck and the show’s gigantic heart, you’ll often forget to notice its amusing and hidden black spots.

Chuck

A few weeks back, after a disappointing second episode, Chuck had me concerned that it was already derailing from its promising start. The last two episodes assuaged my fears. After the slight second week hiccup, the shows seems to have found its groove, the episodic formula that works for it but that allows them to insert variables into it that keep the whole thing from getting stale and repetitious (a notable risk with spy shows that require weekly missions). The missions themselves have been fun, thanks to Chuck being totally in over his head — whether he be tangoing or party mingling — but what is making the show so enjoyable is not only that it’s willing to explore characters emotional personal and interpersonal conflicts and relationships, but it often integrates them successfully into the missions, creating a seamless dramatic/adventure tapestry. For Chuck (the character), and in Chuck (the show), the two worlds may be seemingly different, but the two are constantly bleeding into each other. Despite the exciting grand adventure of the spy missions, Chuck seems aware that at its core, it’s really about its characters, which is why it features some of my favorite relationships currently on television, most notably the adorable one between siblings Chuck and Ellie, as well as the complicated but poignant one between Chuck and Sarah. Now if only they could give us more of Captain Awesome (where the heck was he last week? I demand more tango lessons!), give Casey more and better things to do (because Adam Baldwin deserves better), try harder to not let Morgan get stale (last week’s dating sub-plot for him was a step in the right direction), and give us more great guest characters like last week’s Corrina (and no, she wasn’t great just because she was half-naked for most of the episode. Okay… maybe that was part it).

On an entirely unrelated note, what is with all the Chuck’s in new shows this year? There is a Chuck in this show (duh), in Pushing Daisies, and in Gossip Girl. Is Chuck the new Apple/Suri/Shiloh? You decide.

Heroes

Perilously close to being dropped, Heroes earned itself a little more time with this week’s episode thanks to the Alejandro and Maya plotline becoming worthwhile, if only because Sylar is now involved, the intriguing revelation that the man Molly has nightmares about is Matt Parkman’s father, the (proper) return of the Haitian, and the lack of the lackluster Hiro and Peter storylines. Granted, there were still problems (do we really need an introduction of yet another hero with a boring storyline, a.k.a. Mikael’s cousin?), but the above managed to stave off me dropping the show for another week. Also, how could I bail when I know Kirsten Bell is finally making her appearance next week? Let’s hope she’s just not forced to have her talents slummed like they are over on Gossip Girl with the horrible narration they give her. If so, then I fear even Veronica Mars can’t save Heroes.

Bionic Woman

Despite this week being another lackluster episode representative of all the problems mentioned here last week, the straw that finally broke this viewer’s back was the fact that it was mentioned five or more times — almost verbatim — in this week’s episode that Jamie “cost” fifty million dollars to “make.” A funny thing to get tripped up on, I know, but it just sort of reinforced what I said previously about the show having no proper direction, and therefore is running around in circles and constantly repeating itself. So in order to avoid me repeating the same complaints every week, and to repeatedly waste an hour of my time, Bionic Woman is now officially the second new show to be buried in Alex’s TV graveyard.

Ugly Betty

In addition to brief cameos by James Van Der Beek and John Cho, this week’s episode featured a welcome and great appearance by our dear old friend, Victor Garber (Editor: Mr. Garber’s agents have requested that — in the spirit of full disclosure — indicate Alexander B. Huls never has been, nor ever will be, a friend of Mr. Garber’s) as a hilariously cruel Pulitzer Prize winning writer and teacher. Here’s hoping Betty doesn’t fail/pass anytime soon and that we get more of Mr. Garber on the show.

This Week in Electrons: Journey Man, Heroes, Bionic Woman, and Reaper

Posted by television On October - 16 - 2007

MONDO warms to Journeyman, grows frosty towards Heroes, Bionic Woman and Reaper. Television season not culprit of Global Warming.

By Alexander B. Huls

Journeyman

Take my words, crack them like eggs, whirl them around in a batter, stick them in the oven, and serve them to me in a delicious apple pie, because that way eating my words will at least be yummy. A while back, you may recall, I was somewhat harsh on the pilot of Journeyman. Thankfully the show has done what one hopes for any show with a poor pilot: it gets better with subsequent episodes as the creators find their groove. Last week’s episode confirmed the show as one of my growing weekly favorites. A slight change from that earlier review, huh? The third episode was a turning point, in particular, for several reasons. First, the mythology is expanding, centrally through more frequent appearances of Livia who keeps hinting at a bigger picture. The revelation that she has been traveling for a long time, and for some reason it stopped when she was dating Dan, is especially interesting. Second, Dan is finally beginning to question his abilities and what do with them. In the first two episodes it felt like he was just blindly accepting his situation without a second thought. In this episode he debates the nature of it (is it genetic, etc.) and in the narrative struggles with the tasks his ability forces him to fulfill. Specifically, when faced with the possibility of saving several people, whom does he choose? Finally, though there is still obvious tension between Katie and Dan regarding his gift, a moderate acceptance of it as part of their lives now has loosened up the show and allowed for some humor, whether it’s as simple as their cute exchange in the bathroom at the beginning of the episode, or their frequent deprecation of their situation and Dan’s problem. The show has ultimately become what I said it wasn’t in my original review. It is now a solidly executed time-traveling narrative with intriguing adventures into the past, and solid drama and characters (except for Dan’s brother. Yawn.).

Heroes

Heroes just continues to lend itself to bullet-point complaints. So without further ado, here’s what was to be said about last week’s episode:

  • I know it’s Mexico, but isn’t it pretty dumb to try and steal a car in broad daylight, without even scoping out the area to see that there’s a policeman a few feet away? Then again, maybe not as dumb, or frustrating as having to sit through another Alejandro-and-Maya-get-separated storyline. I’d rather not get political about illegal immigration, but if it means these character can finally get to America and stop having these plotlines, I’m all for it.
  • After being a complete dick to Claire for three episodes, and repeatedly lurking outside her home like a stalker, was anyone ideologically unsettled and a little offended that all her would-be boyfriend had to do to win her over – when she was spilling her heart out to him – was tell her to shut up? That’s progressive.
  • Is Heroes strapped for cash? If not, then why did they find an incredibly lame way to recycle the Isaac Mendez loft set as Mohinder’s new laboratory?
  • Do the creators have so little faith in their audience that they had to show flashbacks of Hiro’s adventures to remind us what happened in the last two episodes? You know, in case we forgot because it was so long ago? Also, like Huey Lewis, I’m all for believing in the power of love, blah blah blah, but Hiro staying behind in the past for a girl? I don’t know. Probably as relatable a decision as Peter deciding that he shouldn’t open the box containing his real identity on the off chance that he was evil in his past life, and instead decides to live a life amongst Irish criminals who torture and kill people. Yeah. That makes sense.
  • To end on a positive note, I am intrigued by the prophetic painting of HRG’s death, showing Claire making out with a mystery man right beside her father’s corpse.

Bionic Woman

Bionic Woman is in trouble. It seems like the creators just don’t care about the show, otherwise I can’t explain why it feels like so little is being creatively invested in it. Admittedly, last week’s episode was certainly better than the previous weeks’ one, but that isn’t saying much. Boring and weak side-plots abound, with Jaime babysitting the daughter of a Canadian arms manufacturer (who was a borderline clichéd hyperbolized stereotype of a rebellious teen), and Jaime dealing with her own sister, in addition to random narrative tangents (Antonio’s “be an animal” training session). Aside from dealing with that, there just seems to be some lack of direction or development on the show, most notably apparent in the fact that Episode 103 kept repeating itself over and over again. How many times did Jaime ask for her GPS to be deactivated? How many times did she and the show moralize about her privacy? The episode featured something like three scenes of Sarah Corvis telling Jaime the same thing: she is dying/needs help. It featured repeated (and strange) scenes of Sarah acting weird and eyeing drugs in her apartment. We get it. She’s unstable. I can’t tell you how many times during the episode I felt like channeling that scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail when numerous characters yell at the narrator: “Get on with it!” In effect, this episode had two solid narrative points to get across, which it repeated and stretched to fill the hour. That is primarily why I feel this show isn’t sure where it’s going. Throw in the fact that the show seems to have a hard time narratively cohering all its plots and sub-plots, and Bionic Woman is not only failing to live up to all its summer hype – its potential as a dramatic series and suitable show for the post-Alias TV landscape – but it’s perilously close to getting dropped from my already full TV line-up.

Reaper

After last week’s episode of Reaper, which was all together a boring and repetitious affair, all I can say is it’s been fun, but R.I.P Reaper. At least from my living room screen anyway.

Favorite Line(s) of the Week:

“Don’t even get me started on how objectifying this whole bionic woman thing is. They don’t tell you anything. That’s why you and me, we need to stick together. Maybe form a union.” – Sarah Corvis (Katee Sackhoff), the first Bionic Woman, to Jaime (Michelle Ryan), the second Bionic Woman

By Alexander B. Huls

Reaper

If two episodes in, a TV series already feels formulaic and repetitive, there’s cause for concern. The thing is, I really want to like Reaper, and I almost envy those who do. The premiere was definitely fun, exciting, and funny. The show overall has such a catchy vibe, an enthusiasm for its own content, that it’s hard not to overcome by its infectiousness. Bret Harrison is a charming and likeable lead. The energy of Tyler Labine’s performance as his character, Sock, make him an endearing slacker. Of course the shining star of the show is really Ray Wise, who — and I’m not sure if this is an insult or not — seems born for this role, or at least is clearly having the time of his life playing it. In fact, while watching scenes without him I found myself anxiously waiting for the next time he showed up. But something just isn’t clicking with me. I think it boils down to two things:

First, I’ve got nothing against “crisis-of-the-week” episode structures — after all, I loved Wonderfalls and it followed that pattern — but the thing is, the second episode of Reaper followed the structure of the first eerily to a tee. The only change was the addition of the sub-plot about whether Sam should tell his Mom the truth or not about his situation. In both episodes we watch Sam refusing to do the Devil’s work, then being threatened, and then becoming morally convinced to do it, and finally he overcomes his hesitation and does his job heroically. We see him in both cases investigate why the escaped souls are doing what they are doing, while simultaneously trying to figure out how to use the vessel the Devil has given him. Here’s another issue: I don’t really get why Sam has to figure the vessel out on his own, when a lot of trouble could be saved if it just came with instructions. Secondly, I can’t help but constantly feel a sense of déjà vu while watching the show. I mean, is Reaper really all that far removed from Supernatural, especially this current season? Think back to some central plot elements of Buffy/Angel, Ghostbusters, and Dead Like Me, and you’ll start feeling the same déjà vu I do.

The second episode just was too much “second verse, same as the first” and if that’s going to keep up, it may — despite all the things I do like about the show — end up in me dropping it from my already-very-full “to watch” schedule. Favorite Lines of the Week:

“This is like a Where’s Waldo? of exposed genitalia, except it’s really easy to find Waldo” — Lily going through Robin’s Argentina vacation photo album on How I Met Your Mother

“N.Y.C. Lawyer Captures ‘Nessie’” — a framed newspaper clipping behind Marshall’s desk in the Year 2029 on How I Met Your Mother

“We’re gonna die dressed as condoms!” — Ben on Reaper

“I don’t see it. I think they could both do better” — Dwight regarding Jim & Pam

“We have learned that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks because it’s illegal, and you will go to jail” — Michael Scott

By Alexander B. HulsWith the amount of TV I watch it would be pretty much impossible to produce a review for every episode of every show I feast my square eyes on in a given week. So this weekly column will be my forum for voicing comments, observations, complaints, and unabashed geeky gushing, about the good, the bad, and the ugly of the past week’s elevision.

How I Met Your Mother: Season Three Premiere

Man, it’s good to have How I Met Your Mother back. It’s a lot like hanging out with friends after they’ve returned from traveling abroad all summer. At certain points it is slightly awkward and they may have changed a little bit (beards, marriage, new significant others, and getting into new experiences — like biker chicks), but once you’ve spent a little time together things fall right back into rhythm and you share a bunch of laughs (butterflies, massages, wingmen, and Marshall’s longing eyes). You may even meet new people (seeing Ted’s wife for the first time… kinda). Finally: “Cirque de so laid?” Oh, Barney, I’ve missed you terribly. Welcome back, How I Met Your Mother.

Bionic Woman: Pilot

After listening to the ever-growing mound of buzz being piled on it throughout the summer, now that I’ve finally seen the Bionic Woman pilot, I couldn’t help but sit there after and think, “Eh.” It’s not that the show was necessarily bad, but it’s also just not that good. Some of the acting was so wooden they could have built a bookshelf with it, and the pilot overemphasizes the development of its mythology at the expense of emotional resonance. It feels like the action-packed Hollywood blockbuster film I’d hope it wouldn’t become. In other words, follow the proven formula: come up with high concept and intense action, and then throw in some underdeveloped/superficial characters and drama at the end, because, well, I guess you kinda need that stuff. The end result is that I was incredibly intrigued by the mythology and action in the show, but didn’t care even a little bit for the characters. What made Alias — the show Bionic Woman is being repeatedly compared to — work so well was its ability to have fun with its action and mythology driven plots, while never forgetting that we also need some good character and interpersonal drama. If the most interesting character on the show is not your central character, but one of the villains, then there’s something wrong.

On that note, the constant comparing of Michelle Ryan to Jennifer Garner is simultaneously a justified comment and one that makes her failings stand out in comparison. Ryan certainly has the looks and the talent to be a breakout star, but at the moment she lacks the confidence and assurance that made Garner such a delight to watch on Alias. Had Garner on Alias uttered Ryan’s final line in the Bionic Woman pilot (“If we do this, whatever this is, we do it on my terms. If that’s not okay with you, I know what I’m capable of now. So you send whoever you send, and I’ll bury one guy after the next”), you would have believed her (and her character) and shivered in your boots a little. In the case of Ryan, you just don’t buy it. She comes off like a scared girl trying to be threatening instead of a scared girl channeling her fear into genuine malice. It also doesn’t help that in the episode Katee Sackhoff pretty much blows everyone else away, and demonstrates how to really portray a threatening character.

Inevitably a large portion of my disappointment comes from knowing that the show is produced by many of the people involved with Battlestar Galactica — in my opinion one of the best shows on TV — and features three cast alumni in the pilot alone. I know that they can do better than this. Which is why, despite my initial write-off of the pilot, I will have faith in David Eick and company, and will continue to watch. After all, it is only a pilot, so there is still room to work out the kinks. Rest assured I will keep you posted as and if that happens.

The Office: Season Three Premiere

As a TV-aficionado, and specifically a big fan of a particular show, there is no greater comfort than to have that show return after a summer’s hiatus exactly the way you remember it. Ugly Betty and The Office both came out with guns a-blazing, reminding me why I missed them in the first place.

In the case of The Office, I can’t even begin to express how amazing I thought the episode was. I had forgotten what it was like to hear myself laugh loud and boisterously, and needless to say, I had to hear that a lot on Thursday night. I also had to listen to myself giggle like a little school girl whenever I saw Jim and Pam together, most notably during their leisurely “stroll” with some coupley purchases and hand holding.

Jim and Pam of course did not hog the spotlight. Almost everybody had great moments, and it felt like the script took advantage of the summer gestation period to give every character at least one awesome line/scene/moment, and give us exactly what we have come to expect from The Office.

Part of me wonders whether the episode was as good as I am hyping it up to be, or whether my utter desperation to see The Office return is clouding my judgment a little bit. It’s kinda like make-up sex after a break-up. It may not actually be that great, but you think it is because it’s been so long and you’ve kinda missed it. Maybe another roll in the hay will change my perspective, but till then I’m going to sit here, leaning my head against the headboard, and contently smoke my cigarette.

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