MONDOmagazine

A Tasty Dish

By Leo K. Moncel

I went on vacation with my father to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico several years ago. We’d had bad luck with Mexican food, going to a couple of nearly deserted high end places, eating food that was somewhat bland. We found a good Italian restaurant in the old town and, funnily enough, Italian food became our staple. But right at the end of the trip, we gambled with a cheap little Mexican restaurant, flooded out white by fluorescent lights.* On that night, I ate what is still one of the greatest meals I have ever had. This recipe is my reconstruction of that meal as close as I can ascertain through memory and culinary guesswork. It is filling, delicious and defiantly unsubtle. It may seem like a lot of steps, but it’s all easy stuff.

Serves 3
Prep time – about 40 minutes

Ingredients:

1 tbsp mazola oil
2 chicken thighs, skinless
1 green pepper
1 large onion
3/4 cup frozen corn
1/2 can of refried beans
150 grams of grated Monterey jack cheese (almost half a No Name package)
1-6 small jalapeño peppers
Some sour cream
12 small, soft corn tortillas**Preparation and cooking:

Get the oil going in a large frying pan. Get it hot to the point where it flows around silkily, but not so hot it leaps or smokes.

Turn the oven on to 300.

Start slicing the chicken thighs into narrow strips. Throw the chicken strips onto the pan. Cut the green pepper into narrow strips. Throw the pepper strips into the pan. Give things a good stir.

Cut the onion into narrow strips. Into the pan! This is about when the chicken should cease to be pinky.

This is a good time to put your tortillas stacked in the oven in a pyrex or ceramic dish with a lid on it.

Start grating the cheese. Go back and forth between grating the cheese and stirring the pan.

After about 4-5 minutes the onions should look ready to eat.

Here’s where you get that frozen corn and pour it into the frying pan. It’ll kinda kill the heat, but that’s okay. Stir the corn around until it loses its ice. Now really kill the heat. Pour the chicken and fried vegetables into an oven-safe dish.

Glop the refried beans in the dish. Stir around.

Put the grated cheese in, too. Stir again and then put it in the oven.

Use the time while the fajita stuffing is in the oven to dice up your jalapeños finely and put them on a little dish. You should probably set the table, too.

I also advise you to get your sister to make a garden salad now.

Wait about five or six minutes until the cheese is all melted, remove and stir again — you’re done.

Serving:

Serve the tortillas and fajita stuffing separately at the table.
People take their own tortillas and glop the stuffing on with a spoon.
You can sort of fold them up into a U-shape.
Garnish with as much diced jalapeño and sour cream as you deem responsible.

If there’s a salad, save it for after the fajitas. The fajitas as rich as they are delicious and are well serviced by a light follow-up.

Ancillary Notes:

* – Okay, not much of a gamble. It was in the hotel district of the second most touristy city in Mexico.

** – A note on corn tortillas. They taste better and have a superior texture to flour tortillas, but they’re a fucking nuisance. Most supermarkets don’t carry corn tortillas. When you do find them, they are typically smaller and dry out faster than their gummy cousins. For these reasons, I don’t blame you if you go for the easier option and buy flour tortillas. The most hardcore option is to make your own corn tortillas. Bless you if you do.

A veritable vanguard of vegetarian voluptuousness!

By Elisha Denburg

Okay, a few things are going on here, but multi-tasking isn’t that hard. Once you get everything going, the only thing you’ll need to concentrate on is stirring the risotto. GO!

Click for a larger image.

Risotto stock:
6 cups water
3 tbsp tomato paste
1 handful fresh thyme sprigs
1 tbsp each, salt and freshly ground black pepper

Risotto:
1 ½ cups Arborio rice
1 each: red onion, carrot and zucchini, all peeled and finely diced
1 tbsp each, balsamic vinegar and Dijon mustard
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
4 tbsp butter, divided
4 tbsp pesto (see archives for homemade basil-lemon pesto recipe!)
¼ cup dry vermouth or white wine
¼ cup grated parmesan cheese

Veggies:
2 each: beets and parsnips
1 handful fresh thyme sprigs
extra virgin olive oil, salt and pepper

1. The beets. You can do these ahead of time. Trim roots off beets, discard and cover beets in tinfoil. Roast at 400 ºF for 1½ hours or until very tender. Let cool slightly, peel off skins and slice (use rubber gloves if you don’t want your hands to get stained.) Reserve.

2. The parsnips. Peel and cut in half lengthwise. Spread thyme sprigs on foil on a baking sheet and lay parsnips over top. Drizzle with olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Roast at 400 ºF for ½ an hour, or until tender (flip them halfway through). Reserve.

3. The stock. Bring all ingredients to a boil. Turn down heat to low and leave it.

4. The risotto. In a large heavy-bottomed pan over medium heat, melt 2 tbsp butter in olive oil. Add red onion and carrot, cook until softened. Add balsamic vinegar and mustard, cook for 1 minute. Add rice, stir to coat. Add vermouth, stir until all liquid has been absorbed. Add stock, a ladleful at a time, stirring almost constantly (but gently) until rice is almost cooked and creamy texture abounds, about 18 minutes. Add zucchini, more stock and cook 2 more minutes. Stir in remaining butter, cheese and pesto. Serve immediately with roasted vegetables.

That’s it!

Recipes for the Haphazard, High and Hungry

By Andrea Taylor

Who hasn’t come home from a long night of indulgence to say, “Who wants dessert?” In my last recipe I tackled The Salty, but today I would like to consider the midnight snack that caused so many ills of society: The Sweet. It triggered the freshman fifteen on the captain of the cheerleading squad. It initiated the diabetic reaction in the cute girl in your biology class. It even made Kirstie Alley’s teeth fall out shortly after Cheers was cancelled. But as long as it is eaten in moderation, the sweet can satisfy even the most fervent attack of the munchies.

The trickiest part of indulging in sweets at midnight is that you are too damn lazy to do anything but open a box of double-stuff Oreos, or if you’re extra lucky, the “Wild Summer Colour” Oreos of our youth.

This can be problematic, because packaged cookies often contain ridiculous amounts of fat, sodium and sugar, as well as preservatives, which hinder insulin absorption. This means that it takes you that much longer to feel full. They also cause large and unsightly tumours, which can have a detrimental effect on your ability to bring home strange new acquaintances.

The key to having a delicious and tumour-free dessert is preparation. I like to make a large batch of cookie dough and keep it in the refrigerator for just such occasions. The toppings can be purchased in advance, but check the label to make sure there are no carcinogens.

Warm Cookie Skillet

Ingredients:

Dough:
1 cup of butter, melted
2 cups of brown sugar
2 eggs
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 cups of chocolate chipsToppings:
vanilla ice cream or frozen yogurt
caramel topping
marshmallows
chocolate sauce
whipped cream
rainbow sprinkles
a whisper of cinnamon

Mix the ingredients for the dough together before you go out and leave in the refrigerator for later. When you get home, preheat the oven to 350 ºF. Press the cookie dough into an iron skillet, French onion soup dish, or other oven-safe dish. Barring these, a container can be made from scrunched-up tinfoil. Cook the dough for about 12-15 minutes, and then remove from the oven. Crown your cookie with the toppings listed above, or whatever strikes your fancy as you waver around the kitchen, grasping whatever objects don’t seem to be spinning with you. So long as you don’t pass out as it bakes, this is an easy-while-drunk snack that is low on effort but high on flavour!

And, for the love of God, turn off the stove you drunk bastard!

By Elisha Denburg

A fantastic wintry soup to warm both you and the globe.

1 very large sweet potato
2 medium-sized parsnips
2 large leeks
1 small carrot
3 cloves garlic
1-inch knob fresh ginger
2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
3 tbsp cumin
1 tbsp coriander
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp mustard powder
1 tbsp coarse salt
1 tbsp freshly ground black pepper
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
6 cups chicken or vegetable stock
Plain yogurt or sour cream and chopped green onions for garnish (optional)Preparation:

Peel your root veggies and chop them into equal-sized cubes (1-2 inches). Chop the dark green parts and root ends off the leeks and discard. Cut leeks in half lengthwise, wash them thoroughly in ice-cold water, then cut into narrow slices crosswise. Peel garlic and ginger, dice and set aside.

Cooking:

Heat olive oil over medium heat in a large soup pot and add leeks, salt and pepper. Soften until just starting to brown, then add balsamic vinegar. Sauté for a minute or two, then add garlic, ginger and all the ground spices. Cook until very aromatic and bottom of pan is brown and crusted with spices, but not burnt.

Add stock and all the root veggies, cover and bring to a boil. Reduce and simmer for 30 minutes, or until all vegetables are very tender.

Transfer to a food processor or blender, or use a hand-held blender right in the pot. Purée until very smooth. Add more salt or pepper to taste. Add water or more stock if it’s too thick (about a cup should do).

Pour into bowls, garnish and serve.

By Elisha Denburg

You can use any pasta you like in this recipe, but the important part is the pesto: Making your own tastes so much better and more fresh than store-bought. Besides, everyone agrees it’s fun to crush things.

Blending all the ingredients together in a food processor is an option, but try the rustic handmade method. Pesto has been around way longer than the Magic Bullet, and the advantage is that each flavour in the mix stands out and it’s a bit chunky. Who doesn’t love Chunk? He did the Truffle Shuffle! Please note: this recipe contains no truffles.

1 large bunch fresh basil leaves, washed, very finely chopped
¼ cup pine nuts, roughly crushed using mortar and pestle
3 cloves garlic, peeled, very finely chopped
½ cup freshly grated parmesan cheese
¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
Zest and juice of one lemon
1 pinch of coarse salt
Freshly ground black pepper, about 20 turns

Mix all ingredients together in a bowl until they form a paste (in Italy, they call paste “pesto” — it’s like they have a different word for everything over there!) Add more or less of any ingredient to suit your taste.

Toss to coat your favourite pasta generously. Grate more parmesan on top to finish. Eat!

By Elisha Denburg

This is a quick recipe (only about 20 minutes cooking time) that is simple yet very flavourful. The rice calls for garam masala, an aromatic Indian spice blend you can find in specialty spice shops or Indian grocery stores. This version serves two, but can easily be multiplied to pacify the appropriate volume of drunken and ornery dinner guests.

For the Salmon:

2 salmon fillets
1 tbsp cumin, ground
1 tbsp coriander, ground
1 tsp paprika
1 tbsp brown sugar
3 tbsp fresh ginger, minced
1 tbsp soy sauce
1 tbsp sunflower or canola oil
1 pinch of salt & pepper

Mix together and marinate salmon for one hour. Place salmon on tin foil on a baking sheet (for easy cleanup), skin side down. Bake at 400F for 15 min. Let rest for 5 min before removing salmon from baking sheet (use a spatula and the salmon will come right off its skin).

For the Rice:

½ cup basmati rice
1 cup water
1 tbsp sunflower or canola oil
1 tbsp mustard seeds
1 tbsp curry powder
1 tsp garam masala
2 tbsp dried mango, mince
2 cloves garlic, minced
pinch of salt & pepper
1 handful chopped fresh coriander
lime wedges for garnish

Heat oil in small saucepan on medium heat, add mustard seeds. Add curry powder, garam masala, salt pepper and dried mango when mustard seeds start to pop. Sautee until fragrant.

Add rice, stir until coated with oil and spices. Add water, bring to a boil, cover and reduce to low heat. Let sit until all water has been absorbed and rice is cooked through. Take off heat, stir in fresh coriander. Serve salmon on rice and squeeze lime juice over top. Bask in glowing compliments.

By Elisha Denburg

Posted January 7th, 2007

Here is a recipe for a nice and easy roast chicken I discovered while making it just the other day.

Buy a 3-4 lb. whole chicken at St. Andrew’s Poultry or European Meats in Kensington Market. Thank the butcher and be sure to pay for your chicken before you leave the store.

When you get home you can make the chicken dance on your counter as you move its stubby little legs about in a degrading and hilarious fashion.

Crush equal amounts of fennel, cumin and coriander seeds with a mortar and pestle, or an electric spice grinder, or use pre-ground spices (it tastes better if you grind them fresh).

Add a few healthy shakes of Hungarian paprika, a good amount of coarse salt and about 20 turns on your fresh black pepper grinder. This spice mixture should be enough to easily coat the entire chicken. If it’s not, crush some more.

Rub a thin coating of olive oil around and inside the chicken and then do the same with all the spice mixture (get some under the skin if you can).

Put it in the fridge to marinate for an hour or two, or if you’re in a hurry, just stick it straight in the oven, which should be at 400ºF.

Roast for about 1.5 hours on the middle rack of the oven, uncovered, preferably in a glass Pyrex roasting dish that is only slightly bigger than the chicken itself. It’s done when you pierce the thigh with a fork and the juices run clear (if you see pink, you’re not yet in the pink). You may want to cover the top of the bird with tin foil for the last half-hour if it looks like it’s getting a bit too brown. Let the chicken rest for 5-10 minutes outside the oven and then cut into the succulent deliciousness.

The great thing about this recipe is a really crispy and flavourful skin with a juicy and tender meaty inside. Serves four normal people or one person on a dare in first-year of university. Great for vegetarians.

Recipes for the Haphazard, High, and HungryBy Andrea Taylor

Who hasn’t come home from a long night of drinking and smoking pot to say at one a.m, “Who wants breakfast?”

Sure, we’ve all been indulging a little too much over the holidays, but recent studies prove that, although it may feel like ten pounds of eggnog and chocolate have attached themselves to our waistlines, the average person only gains one pound over the four weeks surrounding Christmas and New Year’s Day. So when the munchies call, I suggest answering the door!

The problem with wanting breakfast at a time when sober people are asleep is that you have to dust off the old frying pan and cook it yourself. The following recipe contains all of the breakfast ingredients one might crave, and it’s easy to make with very little cleanup and risk of arm-burning or finger-cutting.

In fact, you may want to carry out this recipe in its entirety wearing oven mitts. It’s safe, fun, and you look like quilted lobster.

The trick is to keep your cool. Breakfast is all about timing, and as long as you don’t crack under the pressure, the following simple steps will ensure a tasty and satisfying late-night breakfast. And don’t worry, step one is NOT cutting a hole in the box. Step one is print this recipe off before you start drinking, and maybe make the font bigger if you plan on really tying one on.

Scrambled Egg Brunch Bread

Ingredients:
1 tube of refrigerated crescent rolls
2 ounces deli ham
2 ounces cream cheese
¼ cup of milk
4 eggs
1 dash of salt and pepper
¼ chopped red pepper
1 teaspoon of butter
1 cup shredded cheese
Unroll your crescent dough on a cookie sheet that is lined with tin foil (optional), and use a bit of water to seal the perforations between the crescents (optional). (Depending on how much you’ve indulged, everything but removing the lid from the container of cream cheese and putting your face in may become optional.)

Next, preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit and preheat a skillet on medium heat.

DO NOT LIE DOWN ON THE COUCH WHILE WAITING FOR THE OVEN AND PAN TO PREHEAT.

Scramble the eggs with the butter, red pepper, and half of the shredded cheese.

Cook in the skillet until eggs are no longer runny and red pepper is tender.

Spread the rest of the ingredients (cream cheese, deli ham, etc.) over half of the crescent rolls and fold the dough over itself to form a rectangle (see photo).

Seal the edges as you did with the perforations. Bake for 15-20 minutes and enjoy!

For the love of God, turn the stove off, you drunk bastard.