By Caesar Martini
5. Jackass 3D (dir. Jeff Tremaine)
Yes, I realize that the Jackass movies are not exactly the epitome of noble cinematic achievement, blah blah blah, but hey, shut up for a second. There’s only one other movie I saw this year that I kept talking about after seeing it, and that’s because Jackass 3D is hugely entertaining from start to finish. It may be a horrified fascination-of-a-car-wreck type of entertainment, but still, that’s more than 95% of movies I see can offer, so it’s on my list.
4. The Town (dir. Ben Affleck)
Wow, Ben Affleck is two for two in the ‘win’ column for directing. The Town is a top shelf heist movie, on par with films like Heat. Great characterization, great dialogue, acting, writing, it comes together beautifully. I don’t even care that Affleck might not be physically able of making a movie that doesn’t take place in Boston.
3. Toy Story 3 (dir. Lee Unkrich)
I’m starting to think Pixar has made a deal with the devil, because every single movie they make is awesome, and they do a pretty good job of making me cry, the evil bastards. The amount of emotional involvement Pixar characters can elicit from their audiences is nothing short of astounding when you consider it’s nothing but ones and zeroes. I’m not crying over toys, I’m crying over digital representations of toys that have never existed. Can humans falling in love with robots be far behind? Mariko, my animatronic Japanese body pillow, says ‘No.’
2. True Grit (dir. Joel and Ethan Coen)
The Coen Bros are hit or miss for me. They make mostly-awesome movies, but usually with a somewhat not-awesome part that I just can’t get behind. Not so with True Grit. I can’t think of a single thing to complain about in this film, and by now you all should know how much I like to complain. Jeff Bridges’ performance is so good that if I ever stumble across a man who’s dying of a gunshot wound, I would probably say, “Ah cain’t do nothin’ for ya, son,” even if in fact, I could do something for him.
1. Inception (dir. Christopher Nolan)
Well, this should be a surprise to no one, because this should be the number one film on everyone’s list this year. Usually, I allow a great deal of wiggle room for personal preference, but if Inception is not in a person’s Top 5 Films of 2010 list, that person is possibly an idiot and definitely should not be trusted to give any sort of advice to anyone ever. However, a note to all the people who say they understand Inception perfectly: no you fucking don’t. Just stop it, you sound like an asshole.