Your wonderful upstairs neighbor
Do sweat the small stuff, cuz it’s probably what’s keeping you sane
By Jenny Bundock
There are things in this world that are silent contributors to our well-being. You won’t see a parade for any of these items in the near future, and when their time comes, if you have them, they remain unnoticed, unappreciated, and used as they were intended. Conversely, in their absence, a huge, gaping hole of “I can’t believe this!” opens up… and we collectively realize what we took for granted.
Here is my top 20 list of things you don’t realize you need, until you discover that you don’t have them and wish you did — wishing so badly that it hurts.
- An answering machinere: That person who keeps calling until you pick up, on Saturday.
- Wite-out
re: Your final exam, written in pen, with no space left on that last line, when you suddenly realize the answer you wrote is totally wrong. - Change for the parking meter
re: Downtown, on Queen Street – where a meter maid is born every block and a half… - Toilet paper
re: Every bathroom, anywhere, without it. - Headlights
re: The 401 at midnight. - Heaters
re: October is colder than you thought, and your landlord controls the thermostat. - Snow pants
re: Spontaneous tobogganing. - Underwear
re: I haven’t done laundry in a month and a half. - Cable
re: Road to Avonlea re-runs on the CBC. - Summer
re: February. - Windshield wiper fluid
re: Slushy winter driving, next exit in 17km. - Milk
re: Froot Loops in the bowl, ¼ inch of milk in the carton. - Silence
re: The person who lives above you is a minotaur who plays the bagpipes and loves country music* - Upper-floor bedroom
re: My first-floor bedroom, where my bed is eyelevel with all passers-by, all morning, including creepy landlords and first-year Wilfred Laurier undergrads. - Mittens
re: Walking home carrying anything, ½ of the year. - Imodium
re: 11-hour flight to Asia, bean salad and V8 for lunch. - Air conditioning
re: July in Toronto, painted-shut windows. - Garbage pick-up
re: Kitty litter, still on curb at 4:30PM. - A pen
re: “let me just get your email address…” - A toilet plunger
re: Rising, contaminated sewage water in the only bathroom in your apartment.
*Sadly, this person actually lives above me right now.
