By Meagan Snyder
In I Drink for a Reason, David Cross’ new collection of essays/rants/beefs/lists/monologues/funnies/ideas-complete-and-otherwise, he notes that book tour appearances can be either “frightening and excruciating” chores, or “another in a rarely-ending series of ego-inflating exercises happily sponsored by Absolut Vodka,” depending on the author’s comfort with public speaking. Cross aligns himself with the latter, pointing out that he was “trained professionally at the Helmsdale Institute for Audience Ignoring,” making him uniquely qualified for such endeavours.
If Cross has any contempt for his audiences, he’s very, very good at hiding it. For someone who has become known for his ability to articulately and ruthlessly skewer all that is ridiculous in the world, Cross is incredibly appreciative of his fans, coming across as genuine in his gratitude as well as his enjoyment of his own job.
At an appearance at Indigo on Thursday night, Cross talked at length to every person who had waited for an hour in the bookstore’s tiny velvet-roped pen (he spoke for all of us when he pointed out how odd it was of Indigo to provide ten chairs, trap 40 more people in a cube behind them, then 50 more 20 feet away, and also mocked the store’s giant windows looking out onto the Eaton Centre — “look, Japanese people are taking pictures!”), and answered every Q in the Q & A portion of the event indulgently and enthusiastically. This included discussing the theoretically-upcoming Arrested Development movie, which Cross has said he is asked about every time he is approached, without fail. Cross laughed at his own material, reading from “I Don’t Have Children” and “A Short List of Videos with Babies in Them that I Have Not Seen on the Internet but Most Likely Exist and I Would Like to See at Some Point,” clearly enjoying discussing pedophilic bestiality while surrounded by overpriced pashminas and Godiva chocolates.
Enthusiasm doesn’t necessarily directly translate into funny, but it did add to a very energetic, upbeat performance the next night at the CNE’s Queen Elizabeth Theatre. In addition to signings and readings in support of the book, Cross is touring theatres with a full-length stand-up act for the first time in five years. Although he has been working constantly since releasing the brilliant It’s Not Funny in 2004, he’s been flying relatively low on the stand-up radar, performing 20-minute sets during festivals, friends’ shows, and benefits.
Although one would be hard-pressed (at least in the author’s adoring/ogling eyes) to find an un-funny Cross appearance, it is very clear that his set has benefited from the years of practice. Punchlines had been honed even in the time since his last visit to Toronto as part of Sarah Silverman’s Just for Laughs gala show in July, resulting in a set that was polished and fast-paced. Cross didn’t disappoint those who love him for his exhaustive (and at times exhausting) views on religion and politics, or those who love him more for his goofy, character-driven sensibility. Highlights included coverage of heroin use, Sky Mall, health care, Mormonism and date rape, all discussed with a blend of emotion and intellect typical of Cross at his best, with every rant fuelled by emotion and every ridiculous aspect of our culture examined at the top of his intelligence. Perhaps most surprising was the degree of physicality in the set, which included mime, pratfalls, and even singing and dancing. Cross has put together a set that will easily translate to television screens, which is his plan, divulging on Thursday night that his Boston shows would be taped. So, for those itching to see Cross’ new Ginsberg-esque beard in HD, self-described as resembling an “aging Queen Street hipster’s pubes,” your time will soon come.
I miss the Mr. Show.