An IMDB Content Keyword Discovery
By Caesar-is-the-gigolo-personages-by-the-unidiomatic-whipping-hole Martini
I stumbled across an interesting feature on the Internet Movie Database (IMDB), which is where I get most of my info when I’m doing movie reviews (length and rating and writers and information like that). Did you know that you can search for movies via content keywords? If you look up any movie, you’ll see that there are a bunch of plot keywords — tags, for the web 2.0 crowd — associated with it. Tags like character name in title, hit by car, karate, flashback sequence, and so on. Things you can generally expect to see in the movie in question.
If you click on any of these tag phrases, a list of movies come up that include the tag that you selected. You can further narrow down that list of movies by clicking on more tags. This lets you select a movie by content. So for example, if I wanted to get a list of movies that featured mobsters, someone getting stabbed in the head, large breasts, and an exploding house, I would click on the appropriate tags and there you go. If such a movie exists and is appropriately tagged, it pops up for me.
So, as a matter of social experimentation, I clicked on a few of the more ridiculous tags to see what would come up. The tags I selected were:
Female nudity
Kicked in the crotch
Kicked in the face
Male underwear
I got a movie called Silver (1999). It’s some kind of crazy Japanese movie. I delved a little further. The plot synopsis was empty, which left me no idea of what this movie was about, except that it maybe had a naked chick kicking a dude in his crotch and face whilst in his underwear (although a user did leave a helpful comment: “Tarantino’s nuts in a handbag”).
So I scrolled down to check out viewer reviews. One reviewer gave his opinion on the movie. Here’s an excerpt or two:
As far as the personages the situation is aggravated from the fact that the actors are rather anonymous in their performances, beginning from the protagonist whom it interprets Jun, that is Petronia the Atsuko Sakuraba, lucky person owner of two breasts that could make competition to those of Anna Ohura. But, as very you will know, in the greater part of films it is not not only recited with the torte (or palomino), and in as far as espressività the Sakuraba it is not just the maximum.
And one is bored to us, decidedly. Not to mention the most open end that cannot not inversive or of personages who appear and scorpion (the overflow is a personage who is not understood who is and that he appears in a single scene but that seems a cortisone beautiful powerful. The only indication is the fact that this encumber comes from the unidiomatic Whipping Hole, probably one lair of gigolo).
As you can tell, it’s bloody gibberish. What the hell is an unidiomatic whipping hole?
Anyhoo, the review is obviously by an Asian person and has been so horribly translated into something that you could only loosely describe as English that it’s completely indecipherable. I did, however, get the impression that the person was kind of underwhelmed by the film, but they rated it an A+. That might be because this person doesn’t know what the letter A represents in English, who knows.
A second person offers a much more readable review. Please read:
An artistically accomplished, taboo-breaking, and utterly engrossing banquet of violence, with a complex plot that draws the viewer down a path to ever-darker territory. Woman-breasted Jun (Shinobu Kandori) is a pro wrestler who takes her job very seriously, lovingly tackling her opponent to assuage the drudgery of the masses. Her family was murdered by the evil underworld gang, Paradise, and now she only lives for revenge. She conspires with Yusuke Minamida, her senior at the government’s secret organization, and sneaks into a women’s professional wrestling group. Having her face as a star wrestler, Silver Jun, she goes into a fierce battle with Paradise and is drawn into a police case involving the apparent murder of her family, who appear to have killed with a chainsaw. The eye Jun extracts from one of the corpses, however, tells a different story, and is glazed over with gelatine. Jun is warned by a Buddhist cult leader to cease her “unholy” practice of masked wrestling, Yoshiki’s head is stolen from the dumpster, and his mourning, egocentric girlfriend exhibits some very strange behavior. So begins a dizzying descent into an underworld of organ trafficking, yakuza turf wars, multiple personality disorder, and illegal octopus lobotomies, combining truly grisly effects with the Biblical intricacies of an old El Santo picture, and a metaphysical commentary on the transience of traditional values.
Did everyone catch that part about illegal octopus lobotomies? Well, though I’m still confused, I at least have an idea of what the movie is about now: masked, large-breasted female wrestling; gang wars; and grisly death. And obviously, it’s worth watching. Hell, after scrolling down the provided list of the rest of the tags that apply to this movie, I decided it was a must-see right there. In addition to female nudity, kicked in the crotch, hit in the crotch, and kicked in the face, this movie also includes:
Sadomasochism clothing
Vaginas
Wrestling
Lesbian interest
Leg spreading
Urine drinking
Male nudity
Explosions
Menace
Karate kicks
Masturbation
Fire
Death
Jumping
Whipping (probably the aforementioned whipping hole)
Blonde Asians
Eye gouging
Nipples
Penis
Large penis
Naked man
Painful sex
Deviant sex
Strap-on dildos
Rough sex
Unusual sex acts (every kind of sex, apparently)
Snipers
The Secret Service
Chainsaws
Evil
A duel
and of course, Sensuality (it sounds very sensual indeed) That is maybe only a quarter of all the tags this movie has. Basically, it has just about everything you could possibly put into a movie, except maybe aliens. Though I’m not going to make the effort, I admit that I am intrigued. Just for the illegal octopus lobotomies and crotch kicking alone.
