By Isaac Mills and Miles Baker
Isaac’s Book
Superman/Batman #46
Written by: Michael Green and Mike Johnson
Art by: Shane Davis and Matt Banning
DC Comics, 2008
Way back in the day, the book one would go to for a Batman/Superman (and Robin) team up would have been World’s Finest. This was when Batman was a boy scout, Superman didn’t do much more than leap tall buildings, and the two fulfilled their own clearly defined roles: Batman did the smart stuff, Superman did the strongman thing. Though the duo have changed over the years, what has always stayed the same is that Superman and Batman each fill a niche while encountering each other, usually something along the lines of Superman being the inspiring symbol of hope and Batman being the pragmatic, ruthless voice of reason. This issue doesn’t have that dichotomy, Batman is Batman and Superman is… Batman. And that just doesn’t work.
To clue you guys in to what happens, Superman and Batman are on a mission to collect all the kryptonite on Earth, in all it’s forms, so Superman need never fear its effects and can go on fighting the never ending battle. Fair enough. But did he really have to rip out Metallo’s kryptonite heart? Superman wasn’t in any danger. He was in, like, an anti-kryptonite suit! He seriously could have asked first.
During the course of the issue they find magic silver kryptonite (not joking here) that makes Superman hallucinate that everyone else is a goofy cartoon kid, and gives him the munchies. The fact that it’s magic and is of dubious origin could be an interesting idea to explore, except you can tell the writers are just using it as a plot device and they have no plans to actually return to this silver monstrosity. Batman has a past relationship with Zatanna alluded to, so the writers are clearly fans of Batman: The Animated Series. They make Batman look kind of dumb in his disavowal of all things magical, so the writers are clearly NOT fans of Batman Beyond.
The book is mostly about how Batman is affected by some more silver kryptonite and is tempted to give in to its fantasy of a happy family with his parents (of course) and a love with Zatanna. He overcomes the temptation (off panel, a visual opportunity wasted) because he knows he must return to help his friend Superman. Ultimately, this issue consists of two writers trying to recreate an idea Alan Moore perfected two decades ago and an art team trying to look like Jim Lee. So, I’m afraid I didn’t really like this one.
Miles’ Book
Star Wars Dark Times #9
Script by Mick Harrison
Art by Dave Ross and Lui Antonio
Dark Horse, 2008
The cover of this book reads “Attack on the Jedi Younglings!” Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t they all die? Remember when Yoda had that hilarious line in Revenge of the Sith about how they were all dead? It totally undercut taking any of that situation seriously — fucking things up was the Lucas imperative of Episodes I through III. Gladly, this continues on in the tradition of fucking things up.
There are inherent problems with prequel storytelling. From the original trilogy we know that these younglings are already dead or are going to die soon, so it’s hard for me to get attached to them. They might as well have their blast shields now and swing a few light sabers made out of womp rats. If I suspect that this isn’t the case, then the writers are about to seriously fuck with the canon and please don’t fuck with the canon. Basically, this story doesn’t matter and, since I don’t know who any of these people/aliens are, it’s hard to care about the characters. I want to like this book, I’ve even heard good things about the Star Wars expanded universe, but this isn’t the place to start.
Another serious problem – and this is something that bugs me in all comics – the cover boldly sells the reader with an attack on the younglings, when in actuality that’s a pretty minor part of this issue. Yeah, I guess there is an attack on them, but it really only lasts half a page, and most of the book is about some triceratops-like character. Seriously, were there talking triceratopses in the movies? Because if there were I might need to rethink my fandom of the series.
Whoah Miles, let’s not say things we can’t take back.
Remember what you’re talking about here. Star. Wars.
But seriously, I love expanded universe stuff, as long as it’s AFTER Return of the Jedi. I don’t care about Clone Wars stuff, too much energy seems to be spent on making everything an allegory for current war times, instead of having fun space pirates running around. Whose name rhymes with Man Molo.
I don’t know, Issac, I just don’t know anymore. I can’t help but feel that I’ve spent at least half of my time watching Star Wars and thinking, “Oh god why? Why do they hate us?”
I just wish I could go back and time and re-write Episodes 1 through 3 because I know I could do them better and I’ve never written a movie in my entire life.
But I know that!
Yeah, I even saw that Alan Moore story on Justice League Unlimited recently (done quite well, btw), so it’s not like it’s even obscure or anything! What gives, Michael Green?