A musical journey into the past, encouraging you travel back in time and recall the theme songs of the cartoon shows of your vulnerable youth.
By Jenny Bundock
This week while I was desperately searching for something to do besides write my papers, I managed to ruin my own life. It started with a blast from the past: the children’s cartoon show Sharkey and George.
For those of you who don’t remember the show, it featured the charismatic partnership of a big pink shark and his smaller yellow fish friend. They were “crime-busters of the sea” as I recall. In fact, that is all I can recall.
Anyway, the first line of their theme song ended up getting stuck in my head all day, and there was nothing I could do to get it out. It was even worse than that time someone was singing “Jingle Bells” at school in like February, and I couldn’t help but sing it all week. The thing is, I was a little disappointed I had no recollection of the rest of the Sharkey and George song (yet can remember the shark wore a hat) – honestly, the 90’s were not that long ago. I strained to remember it, but came up totally short.
I’m sure my 6 year old self is so totally not down with how lame I turned out.
The worst part though is this is not the first time this has happened. About five years ago I was similarly obsessed with the theme song from My Pet Monster, which I could remember entirely except for one line. Eventually a drunken Ottawa resident told me in a pub, and I was so relieved I fell off of my stool (though the seven or eight beers may have also facilitated that) and after an entire summer of my lamenting the fact I forgot ONE line, I was free.
(For the record that song is: “My pet monster, on him I can depend, my pet monster, a monster of a friend! He loves to munch on garbage, he’ll even eat the can, it may seem gross, please understand he’s MYYYY BEEESSSSTTT FRIIIEEENNNDDDD. My pet monster, on him I can depend… my pet monster… moooonsteerrrr… of a friend!”)
Of course you might say I could just look up the song’s lyrics, but that is cheating. We as children of the 80’s and 90’s have nothing if we don’t have our terrible television heritage.
Feeling myself inspired (by procrastination), I decided to list all the songs that I can remember only some of, and any help would be greatly appreciated, as I know there are folks out there who can fill in these blanks. Kids who had like some chronic childhood illness and stayed home from school a lot, or deadbeat parents who kept them home from school to “help-out mommy,” for example. YOU will be my salvation. (And you thought no redeeming qualities could come of your upbringing!)
Here is the wish list:
Sharkey and George: “Sharkey …and George, crime-busters of the sea…” and I know nothing else really, but I think the next line ends in “you and me.” Seems logical.
Gummy Bears. I have “Gummy Bears, bouncing here and there and everywhere, finding adventure that’s beyond compare (but I’m not sure if it is “we” or “they are”) the Gummy Bears!”
Care Bears: “5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Who’s that coming, from somewhere up in the sky? … (drawing a blank) … bright as a firefly… (again) … who’s going to be there when it really counts, do the care bear countdown, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!” So yeah, a couple big chunks in the middle there…
Ducktales: All I have on this one is “Ducktails, oooOOOoooo”
James Bond, Jr. I’ll admit, I can’t remember ANY of this theme song, except that it ends with him saying “Bond, James Bond… Junior.” What a badass!!
Captain Planet: I know that it started with the chant “Earth, Fire, Wind, Water, HEART” and that it said “captain planet, he’s our hero, going to take pollution down to zero” and I know that they called the kids with the rings “planeteers.” Please don’t tell my professors in environmental studies that I blanked on this so badly. (On a side note, what was with the whole brainwashing environmental theme to like MOST 80’s cartoons?) [Ed's Note: Clearly the inspiration for Al Gore.]
Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers: I will admit, this was my FAVORITE of all the theme songs… I remember being like 8 and singing this at the top of my lungs wile running laps around our rental cottage one summer. My mother has the patience of a saint.
It started “ch-ch-ch-chip and dale, rescue rangers, ch-ch-ch-chip and dale, when there’s danger… _______ they’ll take the call, no matter ______ at all… ch-ch-ch-chip and dale!”
And as a P.S., how is it that Chip and Dale dancers came to share a common name with these children’s cartoon characters anyways? Which came first? Because regardless of who it was, it is a creep-o situation. I remember growing up and being really really amused by the fact these muscle bound male strippers went by the same name as Disney chipmunks. [ed. note: spelling notwithstanding, that is damn weird.]
But yeah, moving on from the list of unknowns, here are some that might take you guys back, and I was pleased to report were fully memorable to me once I tried to think about it…
Inspector Gadget: Though this had no words, but I can see the opening in my head, like him climbing down in to the sewer with the light on his hat. Not too shabby.
Smurfs: What could be easier, really? It’s the word “la” like 500 times…
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Another no-brainer
Thundercats: Yeahhh boieee.
Garfield and Friends: I was so obsessed with Garfield. There is a secret stack of like 50 books in my mom’s closet back home.
Suntots: Though I only ever saw this show when I stayed home sick from school, I remember the theme song, and appreciate that it promoted equal opportunity and fairly introduced both the Suntots AND the Smoggies…
Lamchop’s Play Along: Where fun things are all they ever do.
The Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show: This is kind of a cheat because I don’t think I ever stopped watching that show.
I know that you are probably sitting here now, wondering what it is about 80’s and 90s cartoons that sticks in our brains like a sharp object after a bike wipeout. I don’t have an answer for you. But rather than try to figure it out, let’s just hum some nonsensical catchy tune to ourselves, and laugh at kids today for having to watch shit like Pokemon or flashy anime that I can guarantee you does not, and will not ever contain a big pink shark in a fedora solving crimes.
