Or… How to Make Strangers Wonder if You’re Pissed-Up or Mental
By Leo K. Moncel
Keeping with the attitude that recycling is superior to creating, I’m bringing back an old favourite that was created by [MONDO's respected Lifestyle Editor] Sam Linton, in MONDO’s Classic print run: games you can play in public. If it looks like I’m ripping him off, you’re damn right I am. Call it settling a score [ed. note: No comment.]. But just so it’s clear, this is no re-hashing; I have brought a literary twist to the games this time around. I also assure you that I have actually played all of them. Yes, all of them.
1. jPod
The Basics:
An observation/memory game. In this game, you go for a walk and take a mental note of the first thing you see that jumps out at you. Along with the mental image of this thing, make up a name for it and remember it. This is now “object number one”. Then observe another thing, person or sound, and give it a name; this is object number two, and so on. Mentally refresh your list, adding things on to the end whenever you can. It makes the game more fun and easier to play if you come up with poetic names for whatever you’re observing, but don’t force one on the object if there’s nothing there. Write the whole list down only after your travel is complete. The only reason I call the game ‘jPod’ is because you end up with bizarre lists, of which there are many in the novel (by Douglas Coupland) of the same name.Here’s a sample of my most poetic list:
1. Ball of Light
2. Side-lit Snowbank
3. Flashing Face
4. The Green Bluffs
5. The Slain Behemoth
Objectives:
The obvious objective is to make the list as long as you can without forgetting any of the things you see. The real purpose of this game, though, is not to enhance memory (though it does, and you’ll make longer lists if you do it regularly), but to see things in a different way. It is especially interesting to play in a familiar neighbourhood, because it forces you to rediscover your surroundings.
Additional Notes:
This game may sound lame, but it’s fun and challenging and I highly recommend it. The game can also be played on the TTC, but I prefer the walking version when possible.
2. Orwell
The Basics:
This is a make-believe game. The gist of it is very simple: pretend you are George Orwell. Run a mental narrative in your head using (your rough approximation of) the voice of George Orwell. Use adjectives like “beastly,” “ghastly,” and “horrid,” but don’t overdo it. There are several Orwells you can play as:
- Young Orwell, down and out in Paris and London. You inhabit the slums. They disgust and intrigue you.
- Soldier Orwell, fighting in the trenches of the Spanish Civil War. Mud and excrement everywhere. Violence seldom seen. Your body lice are getting worse.
- Dying Orwell. Orwell in his element, dying of tuberculosis as a middle-aged man. Getting thinner and sicker each day, but striking the typewriter, trying to finish your masterpiece before the inevitable. Plagued by regret.
If you smoke, now is a wonderful time to light up. Purse your lips tightly around the cigarette and smoke it all the way down to the filter. If you never smoke, curse the shortage of tobacco that this poverty, war, or sickness has left you with.This game can also be played with friends. In this version, don’t all play at Orwell at once, but rather take turns, with the other couple of friends “feeding” and “setting up” Orwell. Much of your narrative as Orwell will be spoken. You needn’t do the accent, but you may.Objectives:Alone, the goal of the game is to best convince yourself you are George Orwell. Amongst friends, you co-operate to bring the essence of Orwell to your group.
Additional Notes:
You don’t need to know much about George Orwell himself to play. Having read Nineteen Eighty-Four or Animal Farm in high school is good enough. Having read either of those books, you already have a sense of Orwell’s attitude, his caustic wit, and his vicious inner battle between idealism and pessimism.You needn’t play this game while high, but you may.
3. Gut Shot
The Basics:
Another make-believe game. This was invented by J.D. Salinger and will be familiar to readers of Catcher in the Rye. The premise is even simpler than ‘Orwell’: pretend you have been shot in the stomach. Clutch yourself where the bullet went in. You can feel the hot blood pumping out, thick and dark. You don’t dare look down at it. Breathing is getting harder. You’re lurching now. You’re getting colder. Are you gonna live? Are you gonna make it home?
Objective:
To convince yourself you’ve been shot in the stomach.
Additional Notes:
This is a game that must only be played when drunk by yourself. You may get drunk with others, but the game must be played alone. You must be very drunk to play.
I play Orwell whenever I read my essays back to myself… they always read in a British accent, and a snobby one at that.
“Good Show”
Panel 5 is such an essential part of playing Orwell.
http://katebeaton.com/Site/Welcome.html
What an amazing site!