In which MONDO’s resident curmudgeon writes about a baby with most unexpected results!
By Jenny Bundock
So, last week something happened to me that has never happened to me before — I was actually a little excited about the arrival of a baby. I have never been much for babies, per se. I’m not anti-baby or anything, I don’t have a distaste for them, but I have never really thought “Wow, that is great, I’d like one of those” either. I’m actually pretty much as neutral as possible on the whole idea of motherhood, fatherhood, procreation, and pregnancy.
That being said, this week contained a baby context I have never had the opportunity to explore before. This week, two close friends of mine, who have been together for years, and both of whom I like a great deal, became parents. I find myself coming back to this idea of my friends, breeding. Not so much from an “ooh they are parents now, how different are things going to be from here on?” perspective as much as a “wow… I wonder what that kid will be like?” perspective, which was unexpected for a neutral person like myself.
Oddly, I do sincerely wonder what that kid will be like. I can’t see how this could go wrong. Both of the parents are awesome people, and they blended their physical and personal traits into a little girl. That is about as interesting as you can get as far as I am concerned. I mean, logically, this child should fall into a category of “highly favorable” for me. It’s like two people I like, concentrated into one small helpless little package that they will then raise, with the very values and wisdom I have come to adore them for. Again, this seems pretty solidly positive.
So basically, maybe I am not entirely neutral on all babies. Maybe my previous stance is borne of never having come across a baby that could hold my interest like this one will, and perhaps this is the reason other people are interested in babies. Maybe I just caught onto this now!
Even if I am behind the bandwagon on this one, trust me when I say my interest at even this small level speaks volumes about how genuinely great I think this baby is going to turn out. Usually, I avoid babies. They make me uncomfortable and everyone always asks me if I want to hold them (and I never do so I end up babbling in a way befitting Michael Cera and trying to back away and out of the room, with my voice escalating in tone and volume with each armful-of-baby step closer to me). But yeah, this is a big change for me. I might even try to see this baby on purpose.
It just goes to show I guess, you can’t ever really know how your life will change from day to day. Two weeks ago had you asked me “Does anything about a baby strike you as interesting?” I would have laughed you out of the room, and now, I have to say “Well, this one and only time…” It’s the dawning of a new day comrades, a day filled with marginal but very real interest in a single baby that is now in the world.
Touché cynical-spinster persona, touché.
I wish I hadn’t been too sick to illustrate this.
I think I am on the opposite end of the spectrum in terms of interest in babies. I can’t help but be interested in them. I love working with kids, and am fond of almost all mini human beings. That being said I also find the concept of pregnancy to be a little unnerving…alien always comes to mind.
I too have friends who are about to become parents, and I want to know how their kid will turn out. I’ve spent years with this couple working with kids and critiquing other parents. Based on our harsh statements and psychological interpretations of various children and their parents, I can only assume that they will do a good job. They are huge nerds, and therefore their child should be a nerd too.
That’s the interesting thing though. We assume that a child will be a combination of their parents, (who might be the most awesome people ever) and then the kid turns out the be a dickhead. Sometimes it’s no ones fault, the kid just turns out totally uncool.
So I guess the point is that I expect my friends kid (and one day possibly my kid) to turn out totally awesome, but I’m scared that it’ll just be nasty.
Babies make me uncomfortable. Actually, not the babies themselves, but more the way other people act around them, and the expectations they have for how I should feel about babies.
My friend just had twins, and though it’s great for them, it does make me a little sad because my life with my friend as I knew it is over, and I’ve been bumped down a rung or two on his list of social priorities (which is as it should be). So I find myself a little jealous I suppose, and re-evaluating my feelings on babies.
I don’t mind being around babies…but I do not like being around OTHER people who are around babies, because there is only one topic of conversation that is to be had: BABY. “Oh, look at his little nose, his eyes are just like yours, her hairline is just like the father’s when he was a baby, how are they sleeping, are you breastfeeding, how many pounds have they put on since they’ve been born” OH MY GOD PLEASE STOP. No one should care so much about that stuff except the parents and relatives.
I guess it irks me because it’s just a baby, yet people treat them like immaculately conceived miracles. A baby is not a miracle. ANYONE can have a baby. It is amazing in some ways, but it is commonplace in just as many.
I don’t blame the parents for feeling this way; having a baby is (and should be) the most important, amazing, and miraculous thing that could happen to you. But YOU having a baby is not nearly as important, amazing, and miraculous to ME, and I get very agitated when people expect it to be.
In addition, babies not only fail to interest me as a topic of conversation, but also in interacting with them. They are boring. They don’t do anything. Cute as hell, sure, but something being cute isn’t exactly enough to mesmerize me for more than a few minutes. As far as interacting with children go, I find it much more entertaining to do so when they’re old enough to talk and show more of their personality.
Anyway, thanks for letting me bitch. Like you had a choice, ha!
Thank you both for the comments, and for not insulting me even though it is in fashion when commenting on articles written by me. :)
I am hoping that since this is the first time I know someone who has had a baby that the novelty will carry me through my normal weirded-out-ness that i usually have in the presence of babies.
I will keep you updated on whether or not the baby turns out to be a computer nerd like her parents both are. They both have the same first name (erin/aaron) so maybe that will add some sort of extra coolness to their kid. I’m betting it will. :)
(and no they didn’t name the girl erin, or anything that sounds like it)
:D