Canadian Lit Star Frank (beloved pet of poet and critic Lynn Crosbie) allowed a rare interview with MONDO’s Evie Christie via e-mail in May 2008.
MONDO: Hi Frank, thank you for agreeing to an interview with me. Is it just Frank? Like Madonna or God?
Frank Crosbie: My name is Francis Albert Crosbie. I have so many other names and have blogged about this on MySpace, names that range from Franman to Chico (my gang handle.)
MONDO: Your work was recently published in Peter O’Toole (edited by Stuart Ross), the journal of one-line poems. Who have been your major influences — and are they largely literary influences?
FC: I like poems about killing squirrels and I think Pablo Neruda’s “Poisoning a Rat with a Funky Tail” is glorious. I also like crime books, because I am a detective. I tend to smell books, which often contain residue of cheese and peanut butter. Delicious!
MONDO: Your incredibly popular myspace page includes friends such as Axl Rose, Puggy Hammer, and Jennifer Aniston. Do you feel kinship with these high-profile and oft-troubled celebs? Has their friendship been beneficial to you in coping with fame as a young dog or are there other close friends that you rely on for support?
FC: Well, Axl and I were tight for a while. He and I had planned to hit the Bellagio, and just shop and kick it, but he faded away: I feel for his isolation, and want to just represent here, and say “Nothing lasts forever, not even cold November rain.” Puggy is like my right paw, and Aniston, meh. I like that she has a dog, Norman, but that’s about it. My closest dog friend is Quinte, that mooch, and my very best friends are Jim, Dave, Mary, and Janet. They are all wikked talented, and that inspires me.
MONDO: Unlike some other well-known dogs, you refuse to wear clothes. Are you making a statement or is this a comfort issue?
FC: What kind of dog wears clothes? It is a statement! How can you feel anything if you don’t feel pain or pride? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
MONDO: You’ve posed on the cover of an award nominated book and have a plethora of pictures online as well as having come up in poems and stories, yet your exposure doesn’t seem to have driven you to the troubled existence and breakdowns we’ve seen in LiLo, Brit and others. What’s the secret to this zen, Lebowski-like calm you exude?
FC: I just let it roll. “I do know one thing though/bitches they come they go.” That is, life is a bitch if you let it bark. I wear a Pistols shirt now and then and would wear a crown, for a minute, if you gave it to me. I like your poems.
MONDO: What’s next from the world of Frank?
FC: Some serious detective work I cannot disclose. Let’s just say I won’t wear the Rabies tag with an UNSUB. I am looking forward to clover and buttercups, to the sweet sun, and the shapely ankles of women I pass.
MONDO: And, because everyone wants to know, are you single?
FC: I had a girlfriend but she played me. I am looking for a submissive hottie who likes fragrance, crazy dances, grass-spinning, C/W, and Law and Order. She needs to value my independence and understand that I got teeth, and know how to use them. You busy?
