By Miles Baker and Owen K. Craig
This week, Miles and Owen take the week off from their regular random-booking to weigh in with their thoughts regarding the massively important, internet-breaking-in-half, Skrull-having comic The New Avengers: Illuminati #5.
EXTREME SPOILER ALERT!!!
Owen’s Book
The New Avengers: Illuminati #5 (of 5)
Written by Brian Michael Bendis and Brian Reed
Penciled by Jim Cheung
Inked by Mark Morales
Marvel Comics, 2007
It’s an interesting time to be a comics fan. Over the past year, my interst in the DCU has gone from “counting the minutes until Infinite Crisis #1″ to “what DC books can I buy that have nothing to do with Countdown?” On the other hand, Marvel has pulled me out of my House Of M-induced coma to revel in the joy that is the post-Civil War Marvel U. What’s my point in all of this? I’m so glad you asked.
I’m wondering if we’re not on the cusp of another industry quality-swap here. It seems quite possible to me that Marvel might not be aware that the good thing they’ve got going is precariously balanced, and I’m worried that the upcoming Secret Invasion/The Infiltration/whatever crossover could be what tips the scales. Oh sure, I was all excited when I first heard about it. “Who do you trust?” It’s an intriguing question. After all, it worked so well on Battlestar Galactica, how much fun would it be with beloved superheroes? Since then, though, I’ve become wary. Three issues of New Avengers devoted to “I’m not a skrull, are you a skrull?” started to grate so badly that by the time I got to this issue of Illuminati I was worried that the comic I was holding in my hands was going to burn like lemon juice applied to a cut.
Luckily, it turned out that I was wrong, and Illuminati was some moderate fun. There was an intriguing reveal and some pretty pictures. The bad news, though, was that my feeling of concern remained. The super-skrulls with X-Men and Avenger powers just reminded me of the possible souring that could potentially happen to recent favourite stories. I’m hoping that Bendis will have the sense to recognize which stories he should or should not touch, but no matter which way you slice it, every story is someone’s favourite. What it comes down to is that somebody is going to be pissed, and I’m hoping it’s not me.
So here we are, a book in my hands that is a reminder of the possible upcoming balance shift. Will Secret Infiltration Invasion Whatever be yet another feather in the Marvel’s cap, or will it be their version of DC’s Countdown? Either way, DC has got Final Crisis by Grant Morrison and JG Jones coming up, so Marvel had better make sure they’ve got their shit together.
Miles’ Book
The New Avengers: Illuminati #5 (of 5)
Written by Brian Michael Bendis and Brian Reed
Penciled by Jim Cheung
Inked by Mark Morales
Marvel Comics, 2007
Alright, suckers: it’s spoiler time. That’s right, step up to the sweet plate of plot points, because there’s no real way to talk about this book otherwise. Yeah, the writing and dialogue is solid, and the art is pretty good too (even if all of Cheung’s characters look like teenagers to me), but that doesn’t matter.
Because it’s Skrull time, baby! [Copy editor’s note: Hooray!]
The Marvel universe has its own Cylon-like threat and it’s going to be juicy — like Sunny D. First off, I think it’s cool that they’ve given their villains an upgrade. Now the Skrulls have the powers of all the marvel heroes, not just the Fantastic Four, so clearly we’re in the deep doo-doo now.
Well, for an issue or two anyway, because we’re going to win. There’s little chance that the Skrulls will be taking over the world, enslaving us all, killing the heroes, and replacing all the Marvel books with titles like “Marvin, Skrull Ruler” and “Skrull Man: Enslaver of Humans.” Tony Stark and Reed Richards will invent something, or maybe Franklin (the son of Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman) will open a pocked universe and put all his friends in it so they can have a 12-issue miniseries. It wouldn’t be the first time, and it will — sadly — probably not be the last.
But here’s the biggy spoiler: Colossus better not be a fucking Skrull. A Colossus-Skrull shows up at the end of this book and if that means what I think it means it means I’m kicking Brian Michael Bendis in the balls so hard that Brian Reed’s balls will detach from his body in terror. They are not allowed to fuck with Astonishing X-Men. That is a sacred book and Colossus has not been replaced by a goddamned Skrull, because I’ve read his thoughts in little boxes and that shit was touching — not some Skrull bullshit.
I’ll be watching you, Bendis. You best have your cup at all time if you want a sibling for your daughter.
P.S. If you fuck with Colossus I’m coming for your family. For reals.
