Miles’ Book
Countdown to Adventure #1(of 8)
Written by Adam Beechen
Pencils by Eddy Borrows
Inks by Julio Ferreira
DC Comics, 2007
I like space. I like stories set in space. I like space aliens. I like space ships. I don’t like space in the DC Universe.
What the hell is going on up there?
I was actually okay until I hit the back-up story where things just went nuts and there were, like, five alien species introduced who all hate each other and there’s a war or two and a genocide going on. I think.
The main story is a lot better in terms of telling you what’s going on, it’s just that Beechen writes some of the worst exposition dialogue I’ve ever read. No husband would ever say to his wife, “You better hurry and get to your job at the ad agency, Kory.” I have a feeling that Buddy’s (who I think is Animal Man, but I don’t know because that’s never explained) wife’s job isn’t going to play a major role in Countdown to Adventure — so why is it even mentioned? Does anyone want to watch Adventures of the Media Buyer? I know what they do and you don’t want to watch that. We should be watching things happen in space.
This story is set after what I’m guessing was some major shit. Shit in space. I’m not really sure what happened or why, and it looks like I don’t really need to know. Which is good, I guess. Beechen spends most of this issue trying to get you caught up on who the characters are and their relationships, though he is very vague on a lot of key details and way too specific on unimportant ones like the ad agency.
Ultimately what I can’t get over is that I don’t care about who the characters are because they are flat. All the men are the same. All the women are the same. And they all have the same boring marriage. It’s all so awful and cliche. Seriously, I’ve not seen women so domesticated, boring, or superfluous in comics since I was 12 — hell, maybe not ever. Honestly, all they do is just wait around for their husbands to show up and then wag their fingers at them or disagree. It’s disgusting. For shame, Adam Beechen. For shame, DC.
