Big Mama, burning up.
Well, well, my darlings, it’s another week. And what a week it has been! I have to agree with Dr. Smoothmoves’ sentiment from last week — the hot weather is upon us, and I am more excited than a cowboy in heat. With the sun comes the return of my pool boy Ricardo, and believe me, he gives me something to get wet over. And as we all know, the faster the summer gets here, the faster it goes, and that means the return of tanned frat boys ready to party! But enough of my plans for September. Who’s got a question?
Dear Mz. Goldie Richard,
I am a big woman. We’re not talking big boned, and I’m not obese, but I’m big. I don’t have a problem with it (I’m quite proud of myself, in fact), but I’m just a little shy about it because I don’t think that just any man would necessarily find it attractive. I had a long-term boyfriend who broke it off about six months ago, and I’m getting really horny. Do you think there is a chance out there for me?
Big Mama
Dear Big Mama,
Honey, let me introduce you to a little thing called the Internet. Have you seriously never Googled big women fetishes? There are thousands of sites dedicated to the love of fine, large women like you. Go online and find a chat site with what you are looking for, and I guarantee you that there is a horny man liking a little more than just some junk in the trunk that will help you out. So, get out there and shake that larger than average tail feather, and get yourself a man that appreciates ALL that you have to offer.
Mz. Goldie Richard
Dear Mz. Goldie Richard,
I have a problem. The last time I slept with the guy I am seeing, he asked if he could give me a “cream pie” — you know, when a guy cums right on your vag? I was really hot by this point, so I said yes. A week has gone by, and I have some serious itching and burning down there; we used a condom during sex, but is it possible that I could have caught something?
Feels Like Burning
Dear FLB,
First of all, baby, you don’t need to explain to me what a “cream pie” is. Lord knows I’m familiar with the dessert tray! Second of all, are you crazy or just stupid? No offense sweetheart, but what were you thinking? Of course you have caught something. You let someone (who, from the sounds of it, has been doing this quite frequently) almost cum in you without a condom. Letting the white stuff near your sweet spot at all without protection is always a risk, both for STDs and the prego-land. Honey, do I really need to be telling you this? Unless you have seen proof from a doctor that he is clean, don’t let him cum on your goods. Sorry sweeties, but get thee to a clinic, and bring your man with you!
Until next time, keep it hot and keep it clean, but not too clean.
XO
Mz. Goldie Richard
