Recipes for the Haphazard, High and Hungry
By Andrea Taylor
Who hasn’t come home from a long night of indulgence to say, “Who wants dessert?” In my last recipe I tackled The Salty, but today I would like to consider the midnight snack that caused so many ills of society: The Sweet. It triggered the freshman fifteen on the captain of the cheerleading squad. It initiated the diabetic reaction in the cute girl in your biology class. It even made Kirstie Alley’s teeth fall out shortly after Cheers was cancelled. But as long as it is eaten in moderation, the sweet can satisfy even the most fervent attack of the munchies.
The trickiest part of indulging in sweets at midnight is that you are too damn lazy to do anything but open a box of double-stuff Oreos, or if you’re extra lucky, the “Wild Summer Colour” Oreos of our youth.
This can be problematic, because packaged cookies often contain ridiculous amounts of fat, sodium and sugar, as well as preservatives, which hinder insulin absorption. This means that it takes you that much longer to feel full. They also cause large and unsightly tumours, which can have a detrimental effect on your ability to bring home strange new acquaintances.
The key to having a delicious and tumour-free dessert is preparation. I like to make a large batch of cookie dough and keep it in the refrigerator for just such occasions. The toppings can be purchased in advance, but check the label to make sure there are no carcinogens.
Warm Cookie Skillet
Ingredients:
Dough:
1 cup of butter, melted
2 cups of brown sugar
2 eggs
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 cups of chocolate chipsToppings:
vanilla ice cream or frozen yogurt
caramel topping
marshmallows
chocolate sauce
whipped cream
rainbow sprinkles
a whisper of cinnamon
Mix the ingredients for the dough together before you go out and leave in the refrigerator for later. When you get home, preheat the oven to 350 ºF. Press the cookie dough into an iron skillet, French onion soup dish, or other oven-safe dish. Barring these, a container can be made from scrunched-up tinfoil. Cook the dough for about 12-15 minutes, and then remove from the oven. Crown your cookie with the toppings listed above, or whatever strikes your fancy as you waver around the kitchen, grasping whatever objects don’t seem to be spinning with you. So long as you don’t pass out as it bakes, this is an easy-while-drunk snack that is low on effort but high on flavour!
And, for the love of God, turn off the stove you drunk bastard!
